Wammy's Insane Asylum
by ToxicUchiha1
Summary: Light knows there is something wrong with him, and that's why he institutes himself into Wammy's Clinical Help Home. LightxL MattxMello
1. Chapter 1: Inner Battle

A/N: This is based off a movie I happened to see while flipping from channel to channel. When I find it again I will place it's title for you all to see. So while I was watching the movie I was trying to think about how funny it would be if the characters were crazy but then it turned angsty and... yeah... Anyways, I have some warnings (I guess.).

Warning: Rated M for Light and his freaking obsession, which I don't want to reveal just yet so you'll just have to read the first chapter. Also there is very vulgar language, and Mello can make the squimish feel unpleasant.

Light's eighteen. L's eighteen. Matt's eighteen. Mello's eighteen. Near's sixteen. Anyone else's age can basically be figured out.

I know I said that I wouldn't update this just yet but... I got a black and blue thumb and I can't type and it's been totally killing me that I couldn't post anything up because The Game has a few editing things I need to put in before updating so this is to please those readers and find new ones. Updates will be a bit slow. (A BIT!) But I have complete faith that it won't be that long. Anyways, read and enjoy and reviews would be pleasant.

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Chapter 1: Inner Battle

* * *

Light could smell the sweat and tobacco. He could feel the overwhelming sense of guilt, pleasure, and unhappiness. He could taste the thickness' of the air as it overwhelmed him in a white fog that blinded him from the present and made him want to choke, gag, throw up. He felt distant, lost, and for the longest time he couldn't remember where he was, what he was doing, or how he got there. All he could remember was the fact that he felt like he was drowning. Drowning in fog.

Then he could remember. He could remember feeling everything, every fantastic moment, every great second involved. He could remember Misa's blond hair ruffled badly, sticking up in every which way, he could remember the sounds that were made, he could remember every time he moved he felt so in control and so _damn_ good that he didn't want to stop it. Ever.

And then he remembered the only reason he felt so good was because he fucked her. He, Yagami Light, fucked teen idol Amane Misa.

That was a lot to feel good about.

But then he remembered other things. Things that weren't nearly as good, not even close. He remembered the burning cigarette, watching the smoke flow up to the ceiling. He remembered an old grubby voice talking to him, asking questions. He remembered other voices too, that seemed to talk without even letting him into the conversation. He remembered hearing someone softly crying and he just wanted it to stop. Now.

And he couldn't get himself to stop it but he still couldn't remember it either. Someone was talking to him, and he could hear the man talking, saying things that shouldn't be said.

He could also hear Misa.

"When's the next time we get to meet like this?"

[When's the next time your free?]

**"Do you know how many times it has been that I have seen you?"**

[Maybe you should stop worrying my parents.]

"Next time we should go out on a romantic date."

[Whatever gets those tight skirts off.]

**"Next time may not happen..."**

[Good. I'll be glad to make sure of that.]

"Maybe we should tell the press about our relationship."

[Let's not. They're not as dumb as you, they'll know all I want from you is what's underneath your clothes.]

**"Maybe we should start fixing the problems."**

[Maybe if I got the chance to fuck you then everything would be better for both of us.]

"Your perfect, Light. Everything about you is perfect."

[Keep thinking that, it will help my situation more.]

**"Your shaking, Light-kun. Everything I say makes you shake."**

[Because I want to fuck, you idiot. I want to feel good fucking now!]

Light began choking more, his lungs closing in as Misa's form started to dwindle away. He tried to run after it, to make the sensation come back, to make the memories stay forever. But the voice of that man- that annoying cretin- was slowly crawling louder and louder to him. Light wanted to yell at the voice, tell it that he was telling lies, another part of him wanted to yell at him and tell him that he needs a good fucking session.

Neither were heard.

**"He's out again, Mr and Mrs Yagami-san. I'm sorry I wasn't very useful but I can't control when Light has these kind of things happen."**

[Hey, if I get you angry then maybe I'll shut down more often.] _Shut up._

**"It's fine doctor. It's just that... We want to help him- really we do- we just don't know how. What will help him?"**

[You getting the hell out of my life.] _No, I need their help._

**"Since therapy isn't helping I would say medical help would be most affective."**

[Medical help won't help me get in anyone's pants.] _Yeah, but it could help get you to shut the hell up._

**"But the only problem is Light-kun here is eighteen, your no longer his guardians. He would have to sign up for it himself."**

[Fuck you. No way. I'm perfectly fine.]_ I want to hear more. I might just be interested._

**"You say, sign up for it. What is it exactly?"**

**"... A mental institution, but the best one around! You'd be able to visit on holidays and he'll be very well treated for there-"**

[No. No, no, no, no! Absolutely not! I'm not going there, I'm not going anywhere! I'm going to stay home and wait for Misa so I can fuck her again and again until I'm so happy I can't even see straight.]

_You can't anyways get what you want. Have you seen yourself? Have you seen what's been happening? Why do you need sex to feel good? Why can't you just feel good?_

[_I_ do feel good, I make it so I can feel good. _Your_ the reason why I have to keep doing it. Why I have to keep fucking her. It's for you, all for you! So appreciate it!]

_Stop talking like we're not the same person! We are both Yagami Light and I do not intend on sharing him with you._

[The feeling's mutual. If your so upset about it then leave.]

_No. I was here first. I was the one who made Light into the perfect student, son, and boyfriend he is. I-_

Light couldn't stand it. He had to stop the feud in his mind before he exploded. It was insufferable and the fog that was drowning him ever so slowly before was now being pushed away. He knows there's something wrong with him, schizophrenia or whatever it may be, but he couldn't stand it anymore. Something needed to happen. Something needed to make everything stop.

"Yes." Light was shocked to hear that it was his own voice. Did he actually do that? Did he actually snap out of the made up world? He looked around to see the room. Cream colored walls, a few book cases, and of course a desk. His mother and father sat on chairs next to each other on the other side of the room while his therapist sat across from him, head snapping when hearing Light's voice.

"Yes?" The therapist asks. Unfortunately for Light he couldn't remember the man's name, but at least he knew why he smelt tobacco. The man was smoking a cigarette. Was that supposed to somehow make Light open up more?

"I will sign myself up. I know... I know there's something wrong with me... I just don't know what and I want help with making this right. I want to be me again." Light explained. His mother placed a hand over her mouth in both happiness and sadness, his father let out a stressful sigh and the therapist smiled.

**"You won't regret it."**

[I'm regretting it already.]

--

Everyone stood there, and nothing more. They watched him, and nothing more. They cried for him, and nothing more. They said words to him, and nothing more.

[Wake up. Misa's here.] _Run._

Delicate small arms snaked their way around Light's body, sending chills up his back. [I want more.] The small body leaned in as much as possible, pressing their bodies together. [I need more.] The blond head leaned up so that their lips could meet, sending a rush throughout his body. [Get more.]

_No._

Another haze. Another forgotten moment of many in his head.

Light was in the taxi, in the small and disgustingly cramped back seat. The first thing he noticed was the smell, the smell of sweat and shame. _Smells familiar, don't it?_ Then he saw the lady who held few wrinkles on her face, too much makeup, and her hair was obviously dyed many times.

[You can always use her.] _Shut up, she's been asking a question._

"Hey, kid. Where to?" She asked, voice showing the annoyance grown from Light's failure to answer the question.

_Smile, pretend to be normal, use your charm._ [She's a slut. She can't be swooned.]

"Sorry, Wammy's Home for the Clinically Needed." Light answered, hoping that the women [You mean slut.] didn't know the real meaning of those words. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You mean Wammy's Insane Asylum. Don't use big words with me, kid, I've sent my fair share of people there." She explained as she started the car, every once in a while stealing a glance at Light through the rear view mirror. "Anyways, what's wrong with you?"

[Nothing.] _Everything._

"I don't know, all I know is that I need help." Light said, looking at her.

"You know, most people who say that aren't actually crazy. If I were you I wouldn't go, and I would just learn what's wrong with me." She explained and their eyes met for a moment. Light was tired, confused, and did not feel like arguing with her.

_But I can't just ignore her. I'll lose myself again, get lost in another haze and forget everything. Who knows when I'll wake back up._

[So let me take control. Let me face this whore, put her in line, and stop the battle. Let me out.]

_... Fine, just this once._

Light leaned forward so his lips were at her ear.

"Well if I were you, I'd get a real job so that I don't have to get paid to fuck around. If I were you I'd find one dimwitted person who will let me fuck them whenever pleased. If I were you, I'd become me." Light explained.

She bit her lip.

"Well, damn kid. How is it even possible that you could have been mistaken as crazy? Smart is what I'd say you are." She stated. Light leaned back and smiled.

"Thank you."

[Your welcome.] _Not you..!_

--

[Are you going to make friends here? Are you going to sit and play chess with people that really do have mental illness'? Are you really going to sink that l-]

_Shut up, I am trying to listen._

"-And this is the main desk. Roger is usually always present. You will be informed by him when to eat, when you have calls, and when you have visitors. You will also take your daily medication here, if it need be." The old man explained.

Light looked around. Wammy's was a huge place, of course it was in all white (what kind of asylum wasn't?) but it was a place that Light could most definatly get lost in.

Was his haze that bad that he didn't even remember the tour, much less the gravely, wrinkly, old man who gave him the tour? [Yep, now who's fault is that?]

_He's wearing a name tag. Quilish Wammy. See? Not so hard, now deep breaths and smile._

Light tilted his head to just left of the counter that was protected by a (probably) unbreakable glass where there were tables, a couch, and a television. Some people were there, none actually paying attention to him, and one worker with dark red hair. The television showed nothing of importance and was hardly heard. Overall it was quiet besides for him and the elderly man.

"Is it always this quiet?" Light asked. Quilish let a wrinkled smile show.

"No, wait until Mihael gets here." Quilish stated as the red head walked over to Quilish. Light was able to take in his features then.

_Clean face, green eyes, nice hair- are those... goggles?! Yes, they most certainly are around his neck._

"I got those papers you asked for Watari. Are these for..." The redhead trailed off, looking at Light, waiting for a name as he handed a few papers to Quilish.

"Ah, thank you, Mail. Yes they are, this young man's name is Light Yagami. Light Yagami, this is Mail Jeevas, he helps look over some of you." Quilish explained. Mail held out his hand for Light to shake and Light did so, frowning at the goofy grin.

"Call me Matt. I hate my real name." Matt stated. "So, your signing yourself into an Insane Asylum-"

"Clinical Help Home." Quilish corrected. Matt rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I just can't believe your signing yourself up for it. I work here, man, I know this is going to be a mess." Matt stated. [Does he ever shut up?]

"Just sign here and here." Quilish pointedly ignored Matt's comments, flipping through to the last page of the papers where there were two lines Light were to sign. Quilish took a pen from his chest pocket and gave it to Light.

Light leaned on the counter, placing the paper down so his hand was hovering above it, pencil barely grazing the paper's surface. His hands shook.

[Don't you do it. Don't. You. Dare. This is my body too, I have some say! Go back home, I bet Misa really misses you! Stop! Don't!]

_Please do. Please free me. Don't listen, just write! Hurry!_

[Stop!] _Go!_

Light took a deep breath and placed the pen down. He closed his eyes for a few seconds to try and get rid of the feud.

The feud. That's why he was there. That's why he had to sign.

His eyes snapped open, his hand quickly grabbed the pen, and his name was soon signed twice. Light took a breath of relief as he handed the papers to Quilish.

"Welcome to Wammy's." Quilish smiled to Light, but it was a fake smile that Light could see from the start. The smile told Light that the old man was able to see- able to tell- that Light had something wrong with him.

Then he heard a laugh, a small chuckle, from the entry of the room. The three of them turned to see a tall blond with hair that fell to his chin.

_Strange but healthy hair, clean face, but those eyes... Those icy eyes... They just scream danger. Be careful, it's probably best to stay on his good side._

"Is it that hard for you? For you to write your name down? For you to sign yourself into confinement for only God knows how long? Is it really that hard... for you?" The blond asked, and Light could have sworn he heard seduction in the blond's voice. He stepped forward, slowly to Light, until their faces were only inches away.

"Mihael, I trust you to be kind to him while I go and make sure dinner gets done." Quilish started away but still called over his shoulder. "And I trust you not to eat any chocolate before hand!"

Mihael's face turned into a snarl, eyes glancing back but head never turning around to see Quilish leave.

"Don't listen to Watari." Mihael ordered Light, holding out his hand. "The name's Mello, call me anything else and your dead."

Light shook the hand, feeling cuts and bruises on the otherwise soft skin. _Strange... Why does nobody here go by their original names?_

[Because they're probably just like you. Trying to block out their innocent side that makes their life a living hell.]

_Are you admitting we're crazy?_

"What's your name, pretty boy?" Mello asked.

_What does it matter to you? None of you use your real names._

[Then lie. Lie like he did. Become someone else make up a name- any name- just lie. Lie so I can be out, so I can be free, so I can lie. Let me be!]

_No, not you. Anyone but you. I want to be me._

"My name... is Kira. Not pretty boy, got it?" Light asked with an equally icy glare. Mello raised an eyebrow.

[Kira- Killer... I'm free now. Free to talk, just let me stay and I'll get us out of here in no time. I'll free you from this hell and set you free.]

_No you won't. I named you Kira because you are just that. Your a killer, and your going to kill me._

"Not as lame as I thought. I'll keep you in mind, Kira." Mello grinned as he turned to Matt, holding out a hand. The redhead handed over a chocolate bar. "For now, keep the chocolate coming Matt."

[And keep Kira coming too, Mello. Keep him coming.] _This isn't the help I wanted..._

--


	2. Chapter 2: Chess

A/N: Good to know my idea wasn't a fail. Thank you reviewers of epicness. So I had this written down already but I like to upload a chapter by the time the next chapter is written, so technically right now chapter three is already written. That's why there was a wait, not to mention the fact I had to update my other story that I kept everyone waiting forever for- and I still haven't done it because the chapter hates me! Anyways, read, enjoy, and review!

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Chapter 2: Chess

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"So, your Kira now? Isn't that a girlie name?" Matt asked Light once the blond was fully out of sight. Light resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"I'm Japanese, smart ass. Kira in my language means Killer in English." Light explained. Matt smirked at Light's attitude.

"Oh. Gomen nasai, Kira-kun. Nihongo hanashite imashita ga, wakarimasen deshita." {Sorry, Kira, I did not know we were speaking in Japanese.} Matt answered fluently.

"Perapera ni hanashimasu ka?" {You speak fluently?} Light asked. Matt shrugged.

"I try, with being basically in Japan and all." Matt stated.

"Iya da." {No way.} Light said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Matt chuckled. "Anyways, why did you give Mello a chocolate bar when Quilish said for him to not eat any? And why in the world do you call Quilish Watari?"

"Well, chocolate makes Mello happy and when Mello's happy then everyone's happy. You'll learn that." Matt started to walk, leading Light with him. "And everyone calls Watari that. It's a pet name L gave him."

"And who is L?" Light asked as he was led down a long hallway.

"L can basically be called Watari's son. Watari adopted him when L was only three years old. When L turned five he was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. He's the whole reason why there's a Wammy's Insane Asylum, because Watari felt the need to help." Matt explained as he stopped at a door.

"Well, that explains a lot." Light stated. "What are we doing here?"

"Introducing you to your roommate." Matt grinned as he knocked on the door and then entered. Light followed behind, entering the big white room. Two beds were in the middle of the giant space, making the room look smaller, covered with white sheets. White wooden desks were on either side of each bed, a lamp on the one in between the beds. At the foot of each bed was a dresser, with the same white wood as the desks, against the wall. Above the desk in between the beds was a window with white curtains.

[White. God, this place is blinding.]

_There's a boy on the left bed, look. Clean face, dirty blond hair, chocolate brown eyes... Those eyes are almost like my own exact duplicate. And what's he doing sitting in his bed like that? Drawing? Yes, drawing._

[Oh, your so smart. I couldn't see the notepad from here.] _Shut up._

"Hey, A. This is... Kira. He's your new roommate." Matt explained as the blond looked up.

"Hello. Nice to meet you. I like your hair." A greeted, smiling.

"Er, hi. Thanks." Light unconsciously ran a hand through his hair.

"What's wrong with you?" A asked, tilting his head confused.

Light shrugged, "I don't know, but what about you?"

A straightened his head and his grin grew wider. "I'm a compulsive liar."

_Note to self: Never ask A anything._

[Note to self: Never go to an insane asylum.]

"Ah, interesting." Light stated as something small and brown on his bed caught his eye. "What's that?"

"That," Matt started with a smirk, "Is your journal. Everyone has one in this institution. It's supposed to help them vent, but I think it's to help them be less crazy."

"Comforting." Light stated with a sigh as he crossed his arms. Matt laughed.

"A, why don't we take him to meet your friends Near and L?" Matt asked.

"L? Alright." A shrugged, taking one last glance at his paper. Light craned his neck to see the designs on the paper, only to be greeted with a gothic B that soon disappeared as A closed the book and got to his feet. "Let's go Kira."

Light was lead out of the hallway, back past the main desk where Roger was sitting and typing at his computer. They went through another hall to a room where glass showed the inside of the room. Inside was a big empty room where many long tables were scattered about. The back wall held a cage that was locked shut by chains and a lock. Behind the closed gate were toys, loads and loads of toys. In front of the gate was a young boy.

_White hair, palest skin I've ever seen, charcoal eyes... He fits in with the asylum, I must say._

"Hey, Near. This is Kira, he's my best friend." A stated, walking next to Near who looked at Light with a bored expression, curling a lock of hair.

"Hello, I'm Near. Now are you really Kira because I know your not A's best friend." Near explained.

"Yeah, I'm Kira, A's roommate." Light answered.

"That makes more sense, of course." Near nodded in acknowledgment.

"And what's up with you?" Light asked.

"A severe case of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder." Near stated. "Which reminds me that the third button up on your shirt is only halfway buttoned. Please fix it before I do."

"Your not gonna ask what's wrong with me?" Light asked as he fixed the button.

"No. I have no care for your personal being." Near explained as he looked back behind the cages. Light could easily read the charcoal eyes, the charcoal eyes filled with want, want for the toys hidden behind the bars.

"We're going to introduce Kira to L." A stated, grabbing Near's hand. "Come on! Come on!"

"To L? Now I know that's a lie." Near stated as he was dragged away by A. Matt and Light followed behind as they exited out of the room and down the hall. They made a turn to be greeted with many chairs and many tables that held giant chess pieces.

[Wow, they actually have chess here. How sad.] _Can I ever think without having you interrupt?_

Seated at one chair was a teenager about Light's age, playing chess by himself from the white side of the chess board, sitting with his legs to his chest. Mello was laying on a bench next to the teen, eating away at his bar of chocolate.

_Pale skin, wild hair, endless but sleep deprived eyes. Now this is someone who I would expect to see in an Insane Asylum._

"That's L. He's really mean and not that smart but he's great at making friends." A explained and Light sighed, rubbing his neck.

"It's going to be hard to get used to the compulsive liar thing." He stated and Matt grinned.

"A's at least telling the truth about the first part. That is L, but like I said, he has Avoidant Personality Disorder. That means that he's scared to make friends because he believes that he'll lose them easily, and that will pain him to much. When he does make friends, he keeps them close, and does whatever it is possible to keep them. But don't let this whole disorder get you fooled, L has the highest IQ I know. In fact not a single person has ever even beat him in a chess match." Matt explained, watching as L moved the pieces on both sides of the board.

"Hey, Kira! Over here!" Mello yelled, calling the group over. L's fingers froze over the board as he watched them approach, keeping his eyes on Light the whole time.

"Hey, I'm L-Kira. I'm Kira..." Light stated and saw L's hand flinch as he talked to the teen. "And I'd move that piece over to that square."

Light lifted said piece from the table and moved it to the appointed square.

L just stared for a minute until he finally let his wide panda eyes blink. Then his fingers moved so that it took one of his own pieces in between his thumb and index finger and moved it to knock out the pawn Light just moved.

Light grinned and sat down across from L.

[He's silently challenging you. What're you gonna do? Fight him. Fight him and win.]

_No, this is for fun. It would be cruel to do that with his disorder._

Light moved another of his pieces. L was quick to respond. Light took out one of L's pieces, L took out another of Light's. Finally L moved his pawn and Light's grin grew as he took out the queen.

"Checkmate." Light stated, locking his amber eyes with the obsidian ones before they were hidden by color matching hair.

"Holy shit... Kira, you beat L." Mello stated in disbelief, unconsciously biting at his thumb nail. Light made a disgusted face.

"That's a bad habit, Mello." Light stated. The blond only smirked as he roughly bit at the nail so it was forced to separate from the skin, leaving running crimson on his thumb while he chewed on the nail in his mouth.

"Mello has Impulse Control Disorder. In other word's he's a pyro who constantly abuses his own skin in various ways. The main being biting and scratching." Matt explained. Mello stood up and punched him in the arm, hard.

"I don't act the way I do because of this 'Disorder' you say I have. I act like this because it freaks people out, because it's wrong, because I just wanna scare the living shit out of everyone around." Mello explained with a snarl at Matt who only rolled his eyes.

"You are the most problematic brother ever." Near stated, twirling a lock of his hair. [Those two are related? In what universe?] "And by the way, your chocolate is melting more on one side then the other. Please fix it before I must."

"Don't you dare touch my chocolate." Mello growled, spitting out the nail so he could bite off all excess chocolate.

"Oh, that reminds me!" Matt said, searching his white uniform coat pockets for something. Finally he found his prize and smiled tossing the small box to L. "I snuck these from Watari, don't let him see you with those."

L didn't say anything, he just stared at Light and then down at his wiggling toes. _Toes? He's not wearing shoes?_

"I think I should go." Light stated, looking at L. Everyone nodded in agreement and the four left, leaving Mello and L at peace.

"Kira! Do you have any idea what you just did?" A asked in excitement.

"Uh, I scared the living shit out of L?" Light guessed.

"Pft! Hardly! You beat L at chess, no one has done that before! That means that you have a high intellect and L likes people of high intellect! When you played and when you won L was silent. If he didn't like you, if he didn't want to be near you- even if he was scared- he would have walked away, but he didn't. That's a major breakthrough with L!" A explained, practically bouncing. Light looked to Matt and Near.

"Can I believe him or is he lying again?" Light asked.

"That's one hundred percent truth, Kira. Truly the whole ordeal was remarkable." Near stated, hands stopped from twirling his hair. "Thank you for that."

Then Near walked away.

"Hey, Near! Wait up!" A yelled, running after the younger boy. Matt walked to Light's side so he could whisper.

"Do me a favor, Light?" Matt asked. "Try and play chess with L more often. That was truly nice."

Then Matt walked away after the two.

_Does anyone around here know how to say goodbye?_

[Does anyone know a sane person when they see them around here?] _What sane people are there?_

--

L took a deep breath once Kira was out of sight. The air refilled his lungs so that he no longer felt tight and constricted but free and relieved. When he saw the new face, the chocolate honey hair and amber eyes, he wanted to curl up and hide. Then he heard Mello call the stranger Kira, the stranger was Japanese and so was the name, the name that meant Killer. And that name didn't help L to feel any more secure in front of the stranger.

Then when Kira came over and stuttered his name, then was when L knew it was just an alias, and then was when the genius mind got curious. Curious but still fearful. Surprise after surprise happened and Kira was actually able to play a well matched chess game against him, and ended up beating the raven haired teen. It was all too much to take in when L didn't feel like hiding anymore. He wanted to greet the stranger, learn more about him, but his fear still wouldn't let him. It held him back with a tight grip that suffocated him all the while.

And he hated it.

Mello looked at L as he started to take sugar cubes from the box Matt gave him by two fingers and lift them gently to his tong. The blond smiled.

"Your not scared of him." He stated, biting off a small piece of chocolate.

"Well that can be answered in two opposite ways, Mello." L answered after the sugar melted on his tong, the sweetness making all fear vanish completely.

"Don't give me that shit. You like him, I know these things." Mello grinned at the glaring L.

"Where did you put the lighter?" L asked, changing the subject.

"What lighter?" Mello asked confused.

"The one you stole from Matt when you punched him." L stated. Mello sighed, reached into his pants pocket and held out the lighter to L, who snatched it before the blond could bring it back.

"How'd you know I took it?" Mello asked as L walked away, never turning around to the blond as he answered.

"Because I know these things."


	3. Chapter 3: Under The Mat

A/N: Well helloooooo..! Yeah, I don't know... Again, I'm supposed to be updating The Game but, NOOOO!!! Every time I write a sentence for that story I always have this one creeping up and going update me! UPDATE ME! And now I'M starting to go insane! DX Anyways, I'd like to thank TranslucentDarkness for correcting my Japanese, note that I'm not fluent, nor will I ever be and if someone wants to correct me on the last sentence then go right ahead please! I corrected the others. Also, a HUGE thank you to an anoynomous reviewer named Viv for reminding me what the movie is called. Girl Interrupted. I screamed for joy when you told me, and yes Mello is Lisa, Near is the little girl with the scar, A is the girl's roommate, and L is randomly thrown in because he's not after any real character in the movie, that's why my story has scenes that aren't in there. XD Wow, long A/N, anyway, read, enjoy, and review!

* * *

Chapter 3: Under The Mat

* * *

**"You seem different now, Light."**

**"How so?"**

**"I don't know how to explain it but... It's like, when we took our clothes off you changed."**

**"For better or worse?"**

**"I... Don't know."**

**"Well, did you enjoy it?"**

**"Oh, Kami, yes."**

**"Then it was for the better, for the far better."**

_What's happening to me?_

"Light!" Light jumped to the sound of his name. Misa's form dwindled, the pleasant thoughts dwindled, but the contradictory thoughts stayed. They always stayed.

"Yes?" Light asked Watari, taking in his surroundings. The room was a dark brown color, bookshelves on every wall, a half circled desk in the middle and a long black leather couch that Light was sitting on in the middle of the room, in front of the door. Watari sat at his desk, thoroughly writing notes while examining Light.

"You were just telling me that you have had sex many times with Misa. Does sex with Misa make you feel good?" Watari asked making Light feel completely awkward.

"How does sex feel bad?" Light asked. His eyes trailed around to find a clock but came to no avail as Watari wrote another note. "What time did we start talking?"

Watari's hand froze.

"Light, do you remember when I called you? How you got here? The first thing I asked you? What we talked about? How many times I've written on this notepad?" Watari asked. "Do you not remember this room at all? Do you remember Misa? Is she playing over and over in your head all the time? Whenever you have the smallest thoughts of sex, do you remember a night with her?"

"..." Light fell silent. How did he know? How did Watari know that much with a simple statement? "I-I..." [Don't give in.] _What am I supposed to say? Yeah I remember you walking through the door?_ "No... I don't."

Watari wrote one last thing down before sighing heavily and placing the pencil on the desk.

"That will be all for today. You are free to go, I will see you in two days." Watari stated. Light nodded and left the room faster than necessary.

Light started walking towards the lunchroom, feeling the need to consume something for lunch. He wandered the halls for a bit before he reached the lunchroom where he saw L standing outside the door. L was hunched over, thumb on lips, head looking through the windows on the door. Most importantly, he was wearing the same clothes of a white long sleeved shirt and jean pants.

"Hey, L. What are you doing?" Light asked, walking next to the hunched figure. L froze at the sound of Light's voice, fear running through his veins. Somebody found him and he was all alone to deal with them. L turned his gaze so his eyes locked with Light's.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to eat with me?" Light asked. L uncomfortably scratched his thigh with his foot, looking from Light to the room. Light's curiosity got the better of him and he looked inside to see the room filled with people. L's gaze traveled to the ground in embarrassment from what Light understood.

"I get it, you don't want to go in there with everyone else there, correct?" Light asked. L nodded with his head still down. Light sighed and leaned down to try and get L to look at him.

"What do you want? I'll get it and bring it out here for you." Light stated. L's eyes widened at Light's statement and brought his head up so Light could see his face. His mouth opened as if to say something but nothing came out. "Don't worry. I'll find something for you."

[Why are you helping him? He should learn to get over his irrational fear.]

_Shut up, you know nothing about how people react._

Light shook his head to rid of the thoughts as he examined the food. Soup, rice, chicken, was that even food over there?

"What would you like?" Matt asked. _Wait... Matt?_

"Do you work everywhere?" Light asked the red head on the other side of the counter. Matt grinned.

"Hey there Light. Yeah, I do all the dirty work for Watari and Roger. Anyways, what would you like?" Matt asked.

"Uh, rice. Oh, Matt, do you know what kind of food L likes? He's too scared to come in here and get some himself." Light stated as he took the rice that was handed to him.

"L? Well, I probably shouldn't do this but... Since your giving it to him and I don't want him hating you..." Matt trailed off, looking around to make sure no one was watching, then he reached under the counter and pulled up a slice of cheesecake. He placed it on a tray, covering it with a napkin and then had Light place his rice on the tray. Then he handed Light two waters. "L will absolutely love you."

"Cake? Really? What have I gotten myself into?" Light asked aloud, making Matt chuckle.

"You have no idea. Now go before you get caught." Matt ordered. Light walked out the door and found L curled up with his knees to his chest.

"Um... Matt said you'd enjoy this." Light said, kneeling down in front of L. He picked the napkin up to reveal the cake. L's eyes widened in joy and shock as he was handed the cake. He stared at it, mesmerized, until he looked at Light and opened his mouth again.

"T-thank you, Kira-kun." L replied. Light was shocked that L actually said something to him. "Would... Would you... Like to eat with... M-me?"

Light smiled at him.

"Sure." L smiled back as he rose and started walking. He continued walking until he reached a room and allowed Light to enter first. There was one bed, one dresser, one window. L closed the door and sat on the bed, gesturing for Light to follow. Light sat next to him, their backs against the headboard.

"So... This is your room, it's nice, but you don't have a roommate?" Light asked. _Wow, stupid question._

"No, due to my Avoidant Personality Disorder Watari found it best that I stay by myself." L explained, picking up his fork with his index finger and thumb. Light took small bite of his rice and fought himself from making a face. What a pathetic excuse for Japanese rice.

"Why do you call him Watari?" Light asked, moving to his water to rid of the taste as L continued eating his cake ever so gracefully.

"Well, Watari lived in Japan for a while. When I first met him my parents were trying to tell me how to say ferry because we were on a ferry, he came over and told me Watari, which means ferry and Japanese. Every time I saw him after that I called him Watari and it just stuck." L explained.

"Hm. Your talking more now." Light observed with a smirk, making L blush.

"It's just... Your not scary anymore." L stated, getting the biggest piece of cake yet and stuffing himself with it.

"I was scary? Is that how you see everyone that you don't know?" Light asked as L's blush grew. Light laughed. "I'm just kidding, calm down L."

"W-Well, Kira-kun has been here for a whole day. How has it been?" L asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

"Eh, it's really quiet at night. Kinda creepy." Light stated with a shrug. L nodded, finishing the cake and sliding the plate onto the desk.

Then there was a knock on the door immediately followed by the door being opened.

"Rounds- ... L? Light? You two are friends?" Watari asked, hand on the door knob.

"Uh, L invited me in here. I don't know if that counts as being friends but, sure we're friends, right L?" Light asked.

"Yes, _Light_-kun and I are friends." L emphasized Light's real name and Light blushed.

[Why are you ashamed, he lied to you about his name. I mean, who's name is L, really?]

"I see... I'll just continue with my rounds then..." Watari murmured, eyeing Light. Light smiled back as the door was shut then turned to L, who's head was tilted to the side in confusion.

"Why do you lie about your name? I like your real name much better- but I'll still call you Kira, if that's what you want!" L stammered, alarm showing in his eyes.

"Hey, calm down. I don't know why I lied about my name, I guess I just felt intimidated by Mello. That's all." Light stated, sitting up so he was more comfortable. "You can call me whatever you want, I really don't care, but isn't L an alias as well?"

"Actually..." L trailed off, looking at the wall. "My full name is L Lawliet. So no, it's not an alias."

"Oh, sorry. That's a pretty interesting name, though. L. Eru." Light murmured. "Anyways, why does Watari act so weird around me? Every time he sees he always stops to analyze me like I'm going to go and kill everyone."

"That means that Watari has found what your Mental Disorder is. Do you want to know what it is?" L asked.

"You know?" Light asked.

"Don't be silly, Light-kun, I don't have the slightest idea but I know how we can find out..." L trailed off with a smirk that matched the one Light wore.

"I'm listening."

--

_"Wait until Watari does his twelve o'clock rounds."_

Watari finished the hall and walked down the next as Light and A creeped down the hall next to Roger's desk.

_"Look in the mirror on the ceiling to find a good time to get past Roger."_

The mirror showed Roger turning his back. Light and A crawled past the desk into the next hall.

_"Go to the room with the toys. Next to the cage there is a mat on the ground. Move the mat and knock twice."_

A moved the mat and knocked. The two waited until the hidden door was opened by Matt.

"Nice of you to join us. Welcome to the party." Matt greeted.

"Your part of this? And you work here?" Light asked as he jumped down into the dark underground corridors. There were pipes along the walls, some dripping, and puddles on the ground with dim lights on the ceiling. Mello and L stood on either side of Matt with Near basically hiding behind L.

"Actually Matt is the one who found this. He was cleaning and accidentally opened the door. From that day on we come down here once every month at night. That's actually why I nicknamed him Matt, because he found the mat. Get it?" Mello asked.

"Hilarious." Light stated, sarcastically. Mello growled but did nothing but turn his back.

"What are we doing first?" A asked, excited.

"We should have fun first, then we can get down to work." Mello explained and started walking without waiting for anyone's agreement.

[Fun? What kind of fun is there in an Insane Asylum's underground corridors? "Who can feel claustrophobic first?"]

_They're nice people, I'm sure they wouldn't do something so stupid, especially with Matt to watch and make sure nothing happens._

Mello opened a door at the end of one of the corridors. The door creaked as it was forced open and the lights were forced on. Light took in his surroundings. The room looked the same as the rest of the corridors except it held a bowling lane. The lane was old fashoined, the pins standing by magnetic force on the ground, and a place behind it for the person to replace the pins to stand. There were two bowling balls on the other side where the seats were located.

"What... The hell?" Light asked as he followed everyone to the end. Everyone, except for Near and A who stayed outside the door. "Near? A?"

"We don't know why there's a bowling ally down here, there just is. And don't mind Near, he has to stay out there while we bowl. His OCD makes bowling impossible. A keeps him company." Matt explained.

[They really are crazy. What are we doing down here?]

_Um... I don't know, but it looks like fun._

Mello took the ball and practically threw it down the lane. The clatter of the pins were loud as they all fell down.

"Fuck yes! Strike for Mello!" Mello grinned. Matt replaced the pins and rolled the ball down the bars so L could take it. L used all three appropriate fingers and rolled it down the lane much lighter than Mello did. Six pins fell while the others stood tall.

"Don't worry, L. You have two turns, remember?" Matt asked, rolling the ball back. L took it and rolled it again, knocking down the left over pins.

"Yeah, L! Spare!" Mello cheered from his seat, grin turning into a smile.

[Wow, so it actually smiles.]

"Your turn, Light!" Matt yelled as the ball was rolled down. Light took the ball and almost dropped it. It was much heavier than L and Mello made it look. He threw the ball down the lane and it landed into the gutter.

Mello started laughing. _And is L actually... Chuckling?! Yeah. Yeah he is..._

"Don't worry Light, it's still your turn." Matt stated, rolling the ball back. Light took it and tried again, tossing the ball down the lane. It didn't go in the gutter, it actually kept rolling all the way to the end where it hit... One pin.

Mello's laughter did not decrease. Neither did L's chuckles, but Light didn't care. Light was smiling and having fun.

[... What?]

They bowled a little bit more before they decided to leave. Near and A accompanied them, following Mello yet again down another corridor. The next one ended with steps that led up to a door. They walked up the wet steps and Mello pushed lightly on the door, opening it slightly. Each of them slid through and Light found that the door was actually the book case in Watari's office. Matt went to the desk and pulled out a case of files of which Mello snatched away, and sat down at Watari's desk.

"Who's first... Akira Alles." A got up and got his file. "Mihael Keehl. That's mine." Mello tossed it aside. "L Lawliet." Mello tossed the file to L. "Nate River." Mello dropped the file on the ground so Near had to go and pick it up. "And Light Yagami." Mello threw the file at Light's face, but he caught it.

"L Lawliet's Avoidant Personality Disorder seems to be getting better. He became quick friends with Light Yagami in only a day, the fastest this has ever happened. Perhaps he has now only grown to being shy." L read aloud, hope in his eyes. Matt smiled.

"Way to go L." Matt stated.

"Nate River's OCD is showing no signs of increasing or decreasing. It merely seems to be as it always has." Near read, monotone and uncaring.

"Akira Alles seems to be lying less but only to those who deeply concern him." A read. "What bull shit. I've never lied in my entire life."

"Mihael Keehl's Impulse Control Disorder seems to be getting worse. Stronger tests and medications will be needed." Mihael stated. He looked at the paper with anger and then threw it over his shoulder. "Fuck medication."

Matt started picking up the papers.

"Light Yagami seems to have a strong case of promiscuity. He has also shown signs for Schizophrenia and Manic Depression." Light raised an eyebrow at the paper and then looked at everyone else. "That does sound a lot like me."

Mello rolled his eyes. "Promiscuous, huh? Who was she? ... Or he?" The evil grin on his face did not falter as Light glared.

"She was Misa Amane." Light stated.

"Teen idol in Japan?" Matt asked. "No way."

"Isn't she stupid? I heard her IQ is at one hundred or something like that." Near stated.

"Yeah, she's stupid, but she apparently fell in love with me and she let's me fuck her whenever I want. In fact... I'm surprised that she hasn't blown this place up yet to break me out." Light explained.

"Your something else, Yagami. Welcome to our group." Mello grinned.

[I have no idea what that means.]

_It means you have actual real friends for once. Be happy._

[I can't. I miss Misa. I miss fucking her. I miss... I miss it all.]

--


	4. Chapter 4: Narcissist

A/N: So I was trying to update this every ten days, and I'm only two days late, and it would have been on time if my mom didn't take my computer away and blah blah blah... Anyway, I tried to make this sound good for the lateness and I even added extra stuff, and... stuff... and... Yeah. Sorry, anyway, I tried and I hope you enjoy, now please read, enjoy, and review!!!! :D

* * *

Chapter 4: Narcissist

* * *

Mello made sure that L, Light, A, and Near were already around the corner and down the hallway when he turned. Matt was covering the hidden door back up as Mello glared. On Matt's back was a wet spot, probably from one of the dripping pipes. Mello couldn't stand the spot and how it wouldn't disappear so he swung his leg back and kicked the spot dead on, causing Matt to meet the ground face first.

"Ow." Matt stated but did nothing more as he turned to face Mello, still on the ground.

"Why didn't you let Near read the other file?" Mello asked. "And don't give me any 'What other file?' shit. I know you took one. Why'd you take it? What did it say?"

Matt looked at Mello, the blond looking even more intimidating in the dark. It's not like Mello scared him, though, because Matt was never scared of Mello.

Matt sighed.

"Nate River seems to be getting worse. He has grown to be a Narcissist. Someone should keep an eye on him at all times." Matt stated, as if reading from a paper.

"And when was that written?" Mello asked, bending down so he and Matt were face to face.

"... Three months ago." Matt answered.

"Huh, and what about Light? Maybe he's schizophrenic but he doesn't seem to ever be extremely happy and then extremely upset." Mello stated.

"Don't worry yourself. I'll take care of Light and Near, okay? So just let me go before we get caught and I lose my job." Matt explained, trying to push Mello out of the way but the blond wouldn't budge.

"I don't understand. Why do you care so much about us? Why are you so nice to us all the time?" Mello asked.

"Because I care. Because I'm not heartless and cold. Because maybe Watari and Roger don't understand your group but I do. I see what you all are hiding. I see." Matt explained, biting his lip.

Mello looked at the redhead, believing every word, as his gaze traveled to Matt's lip. He grew infuriated. Matt was biting his lip but not to the brink of bleeding, and it was bothering the blond. How could he stop the annoying biting?

So Mello leaned forward, holding Matt's face with his right hand, and made their lips meet. Matt was in shock and tried to move back but Mello decided that it was a good time to bite Matt's lip. Matt gasped and Mello took entry, licking the blood from the bleeding lip out of the hot cavern.

It was so strange. It all felt like a daze. It felt so good and yet Matt knew it had to stop, and soon.

Matt pushed Mello off, finally, gasping for much needed air. Mello looked confused as Matt stood up, shaking his head.

"I can't do this Mello, and your smart enough to know why." Matt stated and then walked out the room with his head hung down.

Mello watched him leave. Confused. Well, at least Matt wasn't biting his lip anymore.

--

"What do you mean we need to go outside?" Light asked.

"You have to go outside and work your muscles just like you would at home. You can't just stay inside all day." Matt explained as he led the group outside. People immediately separated. Some went to the volleyball net, others to the basketball court, and the rest sat on the grass.

Light noticed that there was a tennis court that nobody was at.

Nobody, that is, except for L.

"Is it that nobody likes to play tennis or they just choose to leave L alone?" Light asked as he walked with Matt over to the tennis court.

"Nobody plays. It gets them annoyed, don't know why but the majority of crazy people here don't like to play tennis." Mello explained.

"Perhaps they just are not good at it." Near stated.

"And you are?" Mello asked.

"I would be if I practiced but such physical things are not needed and are found useless." Near explained. Light looked around when he made it to the court.

"Where's A? Shouldn't he be out here too?" Light asked.

"A's talking with his doctor. You'll see him later." Light could practically smell the lie that Matt just spat out.

Nobody questioned further because Matt seemed to be acting strange that day.

So, Light turned and gabbed a lonely racket that lay on the ground. It was old and worn out but still good for a game of tennis. He then looked at L who looked concentrated. L was about to throw the ball in the air when Light went on the opposite court and stood there, making L lose his balance as he tried to stop his momentum from hitting the ball.

"What are you doing? Hit the ball." Light stated, getting ready.

"Are you sure?" L asked as he moved back to the edge of the court, bouncing the ball. "I'm very good at tennis."

Light smirked.

"I'm sure, now toss it." Light ordered. L grabbed the ball and tossed it in the air, as it came spiraling down he swung his racket so they made contact and sent the ball to Light's side of the court, bouncing and then hitting the fence. Light stood in shock as he walked to get the ball.

"Wow, you weren't kidding." Light said as he threw the ball back to L.

"There's still time to quit Light!" Mello yelled from the sidelines, laughing.

"No way, I'm ready for it this time." Light stated. L hit the ball again but this time Light was able to successfully hit the ball back to L's side. L was shocked and rushed to hit the ball back onto Light's side of the court.

"Wow, Light really is good." Matt stated.

"Eh, he's okay. I still think L will win." Mello stated.

"I don't know. L's ace card is his serve when it comes to tennis, but it seems like Light is really good at sending serves back. Maybe L will finally lose." Near stated.

"And maybe you'll finally shut up!" Mello yelled at the younger boy. "I can't stand next to you anymore."

Mello walked to the opposite side of the tennis court and sat down. He watched the intense match between L and Light. Light scored once and L was back to serving. The blond looked around, just past the tennis court was a hill and at the bottom of the hill was where the driveway was. Strangely there was a car, and A was at the car.

Was A... Leaving?

"Hey A!" Mello yelled, suddenly engulfed with anger. A didn't answer. "A! What about your compulsive lying disorder?! Huh?! How did you become better?! What did you do, A?! How did you get out?!"

L and Light stopped, the ball bouncing slowly by L on the court. Near looked to Mello and Matt's eyes widened as he ran to the blond.

"Damn it! It's not fair! Your still sick! Your wrong! It's not fair! It's no-" Mello was cut off when the sight of B caught his eyes. His mouth widened before he felt his legs moving down the hill.

Matt finally caught up to Mello and pushed him to the ground. He held back the screaming blond as he looked at the car.

Red eyes looked from inside the car before it drove away.

"It's not fair!"

[Someone crazier than you got to go home. Maybe my time will be soon...]

_A is really gone... But who was that with him? He looked an awful lot like..._

[L.]

_Yeah... L._


	5. Chapter 5: Pills

A/N: So it's been a while since I've last updated, but that was because I had lots of softball and a convention to go to. Now I'm back and have absolutely nothing to do so expect more updates! I'm also trying to make the time for updates for this story a lot shorter so you don't wait so long. Also, I tried to make this chapter extra good to make up for the crappiness of the last chapter. When I re-read it I was like wow, it looks like my four year old nephew took my story and had playtime with it... XP So, anyway, I hope you read, enjoy, and review!

* * *

Chapter 5: Pills

* * *

It was unusually quiet since A was seen leaving. Light sat on a chair in the main room next to Roger's desk. The television was on, but was not being watched. Mello sat on the couch across from the television, sight just above the screen.

_Why is it that everyone is so upset. Sure A wasn't better and he left but he was only a compulsive liar, as long as people around him are informed and he continues to take his medicine than nothing bad should happen._

[Maybe it wasn't A's sickness they're worried about. There was someone in the car with him, wasn't there? The guy who looks like L.]

_So they're scared that he is out and walking around freely? Why? That makes no sense, unless... Unless they're afraid for A because he might have to live with this man. That could be it. That would leave two more questions. Who is that man? And why is everyone afraid of him?_

[And a third. Why do you care?]

Light rolled his eyes at himself, something he wished didn't sound so weird when he thought it, as Matt walked in the hallway. He stopped at Roger's desk and received a tray with many different assortments of cups on them. Light has seen Matt do this once before. It meant it was time for everyone to take their daily pills. Well, everyone except Light.

Matt walked up to Mello first. The blond finally allowed himself to blink when Matt's figure intervened with his eye path. Mello raised an eyebrow at the red head who held a cup out to the blond of which contained his medicine.

Mello took the cup, slowly bringing it to his mouth as his eyes stayed on Matt. It was official, Matt was trying to stay away from Mello, but at times like that one in particular Matt had no choice. So Mello grinned as he raised his foot up Matt's leg and to his very private region. Little pressure was added but enough to make Matt's face turn red.

"Just. Swallow. Them." Matt ordered.

"And here I thought you liked my company." Mello stated, adding more pressure, testing how far he could push the redhead. Matt backed away uncomfortably, his back hitting the television. Mello had to suppress his laughter as he forced the pills into his mouth dry.

He hated the taste of pills, they were chalky and hard against his tongue and automatically set off his gag reflex when swallowed, but then again it was always fun to swallow pills.

"Good." Matt stated and moved away from Mello as fast as possible, finding his way to Light and holding a cup to Light.

"But I don't take pills. I don't need them." Light explained.

"You're in here under our watch, not your own. You wanna get better right? You'll take them." Matt explained. Light glanced nervously to Mello only to see the blond taking the two pills out of his mouth. Light tentatively took the cup and placed the pills in his mouth.

"Good, thank you for not fighting with me." Matt replied and turned to give someone else their medicine. Light took the opportunity to spit the pills in his hand.

Mello grinned triumphantly at Light.

"Mello. Light." Matt started as he stood on the opposite side of the couch as Light. He slid his goggles over his eyes before he continued. "I saw that. You two really need to learn how to swallow. Not spit."

"No worries, Matty. I always swallow, and never spit." Mello gave a wide grin as he plunged the pills down his throat and swallowed. Light tried to hold back a laugh as he grudgingly swallowed the three pills. Matt just turned and left completely ignoring the innuendo.

"Jeeze, Mello, what did you do to him?" Light asked. Mello shrugged.

"I kissed him, nothing to make him act the way he is." Mello stated.

"Y-you kissed him? Oh, now I understand... How could you kiss him?!" Light asked.

"It was just a kiss. Anyways, he kept biting his damned lip, do you know how infuriating it is to watch someone doing that?!" Mello asked.

"Mello, he works here. If Watari or Roger caught you two he could have been fired." Light explained.

"We weren't in public." Mello stated and Light sighed before his eyes widened with understanding.

"Oh, now I really understand. You like him!" Light stated. Mello's eyes glared as he threw a random magazine at Light. "That is it! You really like him!"

"So?" Mello asked.

"So? With the way he was just acting and because he was acting that way because you kissed him then I would bet money to say that he likes you too." Light explained.

"Sure. That's why he pushed me off of him when I kissed him." Mello rolled his eyes.

"No, he pushed you off of him because he doesn't want to lose his job." Light stated.

"And what's your point in all of this? He's not going to quit his job, I'm not going to stop liking him, and he's not going to stop acting like a douche bag. So why are we still talking?" Mello asked, crossing his arms and resting his feet on the couch.

"I wanted small talk." Light stated.

"Oh? Then I have something to talk about." Mello said, sitting up and crossing his legs with a mischievous smile. "You like L."

Needless to say Light's face reddened impossibly.

"I have a girlfriend." Light stated.

"Oh, Light, don't you know your supposed to dump a person before you go chasing after another?" Mello asked.

"I'm not chasing." Light stated.

"Oh yes you are, and aren't you the one who said that she's stupid?" Mello asked. "The only reason that you stay with her is because she lets you fuck her whenever and wherever?"

"Well yes but..." Light trailed off and Mello's face lit up. He jumped off the couch and ran to Light, grabbed a chair and pulled in front of Light before sitting down.

"How much?" Mello asked.

"What?" Light asked.

"How much do you like L?!" Mello all but cried and Light had to put a hand over the blond's mouth to keep him silent.

"Not so loud!" Light ordered, looking around to see that nobody was left in the room. Mello rolled his eyes and bit down on the hand that blocked words from leaving his mouth. "Ow!"

"Just admit to it and I'll stop pestering you about it." Mello stated. Light couldn't suppress the sigh that came to his lips.

"L is..."_ Adorable? Cute? _[Strange? Weird?] "Different. A good different."

"You like him. You want to hold him. You want to love him."

"Stop singing." Light ordered, his face going even more red.

"Well, I did promise I'd stop pestering you about it so what else do you want to talk about?" Mello asked.

"There is something that has been on my mind..." Light looked to the ground, unsure to ask the questions his mind was having. "I want to know who that guy was with A, and why everyone gets so upset about him."

Mello's face fell immediately. The blond's eyebrows knit together as icy blue eyes stared through chestnut brown ones.

Then he wrinkled his nose and bit down on his thumb hard enough so that it bled.

"Mel-"

"Fine. I'll tell you." Mello stood, cutting Light off from being able to reprimand Mello for the way he bit his finger. Then Mello watched the blood drip down his finger. "But don't you dare tell L that I told you."

_What is going on around here?_

[Like I know. Everyone around here is so secretive.]

_Even L?_

[Especially L.]

--

Near sat on A's bed, holding A's sketch book that Light first saw him with when they first met. Mello sat next to Near and motioned for Light to sit down across from them. Light did so, not saying a word the whole time. The serious faces that both Near and Mello wore were far too strong to say anything to, so Light just held in the words that wanted to come out of his mouth so badly. It was hard, especially when Near kept the sketch book closed and just stared at it while tracing small circles absent minded on the book and Mello just kept his eyes closed, breathing deeply.

Suddenly Near stopped all movement as Mello's eyes snapped open. They both locked their eyes with Light's and he had to use all of his will not to shiver.

"It all started long before either Mello or myself knew L, or A for that matter. L was five years old and A was only three. L found A in an alleyway, both of them orphans, and so they decided to take care of each other." Near started.

"They owned a small hideout in England. A would stay and watch to make sure their place was safe while L went out and got them food. Once, when L left, another boy came along and found A alone. His name was Beyond Birthday." Mello explained.

"A took one look and instantly fell in love. How? I don't know, and this is what Beyond used to his advantage. He hurt A, hit him, raped him, tortured him until L came back. L found A in tears, blood everywhere but on Beyond, and a broken smile on A's face." Near stated.

"And the psycho just laughed. Loudly. When L came to his view he stopped automatically. It seemed Beyond fell in love with L and broke A's heart. So Beyond followed L everywhere, it even got to the extreme point of Beyond changing his appearance to look like L." Mello explained.

"Eventually L had to decline Beyond for good, explaining exactly why he didn't love Beyond but that was because L doesn't love people. Anyways, Beyond threw a fit. He took out a knife and slit A's wrist, making huge gashes. He said he wouldn't stop until L finally accepted him." Near said.

"L wouldn't give in, and A had to suffer through L's tears and that's when Beyond really lost it. He took A by the arm that was sliced up and started to lick the arm clean of blood. A finally fainted from blood loss and so Beyond threw him to the floor. Then he went and raped L next." Mello stated.

"That was also the time that Watari had finally made it to England. He flew there as soon as possible after learning about L's parent's deaths. After he found out that L had been living on the streets for a few months he decided to try and look around. He found Beyond in the middle of the act." Near explained.

"And so Watari took out his gun, an illegal gun mind you, and pointed it straight at Beyond's head. Beyond stopped and stood there, looking at the three of them, before giving L a kiss full of blood and running off to safety. Watari took L and A far away from England to be safe, but it did no good. He followed them here." Mello said.

"And ever since they have been here Beyond has been trying to get A out of here. Watari has been filing case after case in court against Beyond but since A loves him and is a compulsive liar the court can find no actual evidence of the act and therefore Beyond is always found not guilty. So Beyond has been left to haunt them ever since." Near stated.

Light listened with a pained gut feeling. Hearing all those things, knowing what happened to L in the past, learning about Beyond Birthday... It all hurt him.

Near opened the sketchbook and turned it around to show the picture of the gothic B that Light saw a glimpse of when he first came to the Asylum.

"A was almost as obsessed with Beyond as Beyond was with L." Mello explained as Near flipped through page after page. "He might've loved L but he would surely kill L for Beyond any day. Of course, it's not like Beyond would let that happen."

There was a gothic L scribbled out on one page. There was a gothic A with blood splatters covering it. There were dead bodies on one page, and they just went on and on. Finally, on the last page, there was a bottle of strawberry jam.

"Beyond has eaten strawberry jam ever since he drank A's blood, to remind L of the incident. Every time L sees jam, he throws up." Near stated.

Light stared.

"... Light? Are you okay?" Mello asked as Light didn't answer. Light stood then and walked to the door, opening it.

"Please excuse me." Light stated as he closed the door but even through the door he could still hear Mello.

"Remember what I said!" Mello yelled.

_How horrible. How truly horrible..._

[Why do you care?]


	6. Chapter 6: Misa

A/N: I was supposed to update The Game. I blame your reviews. My friend saw me read them and get all happy and she said that if I get that happy by reading them then I should reply to them. I try to reply, but when I do it usually ends up becoming a bunch of thank yous and one intelligent word. So, since I really do appreciate the reviews she is going to force me to reply to them when I finally reach fifty reviews. Is that good? I'll try to say something that doesn't say thank you. XP. Anyway, I hope you read, enjoy, and review.

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Chapter 6: Misa

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**"You'll never leave me, right Light?"**

**"Of course not, Misa."**

**"Then why don't you ever tell me that you love me?"**

**"Because... I'm waiting for the right time."**

**"The right time? D-Do you mean like marriage?"**

**"Hm, uh, yeah. That time."**

**"Oh, Light!"**

**_Oh God no._**

**[I didn't mean it...]**

Light walked down the halls, not really looking for a place to go but just letting his feet wonder. His mind thought back to past events replaying in his mind like a reoccurring dream. He was tired, and upset, and feeling a bunch of emotions that he never felt before that newly flowed through his veins.

"Light." Roger interrupted his train of thought from behind his desk. "You have a visitor."

"Visitor?" Light asked, looking around. Around the corner Misa ran up into his arms and hugged him tightly. "Misa?"

"Oh, Light! Misa-Misa has missed you so much!" Misa yelled.

"It hasn't even been a week yet." Light stated.

"But to Misa-Misa it feels like forever!" With these words she hugged tighter. "I've also missed our 'alone time'."

[So have I.]

"Really? Would you like to see my room, then?" Light asked. _No. What are you doing? I can't do this here. _[Yes you can.]

"Well hello there." Mello greeted, stopping Light and Misa's path to his room. Near stood next to Mello. "This is the Amane Misa in the flesh, huh?"

"Misa, this is Mello. He is a friend I made here. Next to him is his brother, Near. Another friend." Light explained, gesturing to them. "This is my girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you, but if you don't mind I've missed Light quite a lot since he's been gone." Misa explained, walking to the room she understood to be Light's. "I was hoping to be alone with him for a while."

Mello grew a very cheshire-like smile as Near raised an eyebrow.

"Well, don't let us interferer. Let's go, Near." Mello ordered, practically dragging Near into the main room. Mello found a chair to spin around in, accompanied by wheels, while Near sat on the couch.

"Is it really that smart to leave them alone?" Near asked.

"Let him have some fun!" Mello grinned.

"I don't understand how those activities can be labeled as fun." Near stated.

"That's because your a reclusive narcissist with obsessive compulsive disorder." Mello retaliated.

"Excuse me? Did you just call me a Narcissist?" Near asked.

"You heard me." Mello's face was met with a slap that had the force to make his cheek redden. Mello slowly touched the stinging spot on his face while looking at Near with wide eyes. "Did... Did you really just slap me?"

"Don't _ever_ call me a narcissist again." Near ordered. Mello's eyes narrowed as he leaned in to look at Near.

"Why Near? What are you going to do? Tell me how I'm not better? Tell me I'll always be second compared to you? Go on. I dare you. Once those words leave your mouth I can promise you that I will punch you in the face so hard that you will lose every tooth and never be able to form a coherent word ever again." Mello hissed at Near, the younger showing no fear while inside he was very terrified.

"Mello. Near. Will you please stop?" Roger asked, walking out from spot behind his desk and in between the two. "I am going to do the rounds and you better not be found dead by then."

"Or what, Roger? It will be too quiet around here that your head will explode?" Mello asked.

"No." Roger took a step to get around the blond but Mello swerved the chair to intervene in his path. "I must do my rounds or-"

"Or what?! The world will end?! What if I need you?! What if I am dying?!" Mello yelled, startling the old man.

"That would be important to me but I can see-"

"You can see nothing! Here!" Mello yelled, grabbing the pen on Roger's notepad and holding it dangerously to his neck. "What now, Roger?! Can you see this?! Huh?! I have problems! Save me Roger!"

"Please, Mello."

"Oh no! What's going to happen?! Roger! Roger!"

"Mello!" Matt yelled suddenly, walking up to the group. "Quiet down and stop scaring poor Roger. Give me the pen because now I will have to be doing the rounds."

Mello stared, debating the results, and then slowly held the pen to Matt who took both the pen and the notepad. Mello stared as Matt made a beeline for Light's room. The red head opened the door to see Light with his shirt off, tie half choking him, on top of Misa Amane who's shirt was riding too far up for Matt's own good. When the door opened the two of them immediately stopped all actions and departed from each other.

"Hey, Light. Did you forget we have rounds around here?" Matt asked as Light glared at him. "You have the freedom to walk around. I suggest you do that instead."

Matt closed the door and tried to hold back his laughter. Mello laughed with hysteria and Near even grinned.

--

Light held Misa's hand as they descended down the stairs to go outside.

[Damn, Matt. He ruined everything and now I have a permanent problem that only grows the more I hold Misa's hand.]

_Thank you, Matt._

Misa started leading him to her car and Light stopped.

"I'm not aloud to go that way, Misa. The path is this way." Light explained, pointing to the grass.

"Don't be silly, Light. I'm breaking you out of here." Misa explained in a hushed voice.

"What?" Light asked.

"I asked for a raise and got enough money to get us out of this country and over to Canada." Misa explained. "I have relatives over there and an offer to do a television show. You'll be perfectly safe and we can finally be together forever."

Light stared at the blond headed girl for a moment, shock easily seen in the eyes.

"I-I can't Misa."

"What?! Why?! I did all of this! I've worked hard to have you and help you! This is for you!" Misa yelled, no longer caring if she was heard. Fortunately nobody was outside.

"I didn't ask you to do all of this. I never wanted you to. I put myself in here. I want to be here." Light explained, trying not to yell back at Misa.

"How? How could you want to be in here and so far away from me?" Misa asked.

_Because your stupid, annoying-_

[Loud, obnoxious-]

_And plain out the perfect stereotype for blonds._

"Because I don't love you!" Light yelled.

[Wait... ... Shit.]

"W-what?" Misa asked.

"That's right, Misa. I said it. I don't love you." Light explained.

"B-But you told me you were going to marry me! You promised me you were going to marry me!" Misa was screaming now.

"Yeah, your right, I did. And how many times did that get me into bed with you, Misa? How many times?! I used you! I lied to you so I could get what I want! I mean, fuck Misa, I'm not even straight!" Light yelled back.

"Not even..?" Misa trailed off, tears coming to her eyes. She stormed up to Light and then punched him weakly against his chest. "I can't believe you, you bastard! I gave you everything because I thought you loved me! I gave you everything because I love you! How dare you!"

The tears finally poured out of her eyes as she ran in her car, slammed the door, and sped away.

[What have you done? She'll never come back.]

_Why do you care?_

_--_

L watched the car drive away, and Light shake his head in frustration.

"What are you doing L?" Near asked, walking over and standing next to the insomniac, also watching the end of a very interesting scene.

"Light just broke up with Misa." L stated.

"Why?"

"I do not know." L admitted as his eyes followed Light's form walking back inside.

"So, why are you smiling then?" Near asked, and L's hand immediately went to his mouth to cover the smile that was, in fact, there.

"I... Don't know... I'm relieved, I guess." L stated.

"Why? Light is not a person to worry over." Near explained, watching L intently.

"I don't know, I just am. I guess your right." L's voice dropped to monotone as he said this.

"Good. If I didn't know you better I would say that you have a crush on him." Near stated as he walked away. "But I know that you don't love."

"Y-Yeah..." L murmured once Near was out of sight. He looked back out the window and at the clear sky as humming bird decided to rest in front of the window. L's hand touched the window as if to try and touch the humming bird. "I don't love... Right?"


	7. Chapter 7: Ice Cream

A/N: HAPPY AKUROKU DAY!!!! ... What do you mean this isn't a Kingdon Hearts Fic? I can say whatever the heck I want! ... XP Sorry about that guys, but it felt very needed for unknown reasons. Please don't be hating. And thanks for the reviews and alerts and such. I LEARNED HOW TO PRESS THE REPLY BUTTON! Win. Yeah, so uh... Cake, Yep, cake. Anyways, read, enjoy, and review!

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Chapter 7: Ice Cream

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"Hey." Matt interrupted Light from writing in his notebook. Light looked up questioningly as Matt smiled. "We're going out. Come on."

"Out?" Light asked. Mello and Near, accompanied with a few others, were behind Matt.

"The people that are the least dangerous or have the best behavior get to go on a walk every once in a while to get ice cream from the ice cream parlor just two blocks away." Near explained.

"Then why is Mello aloud to go?" Light asked with a smile, Mello returned it with a smirk of his own.

"Because Matt can't leave me anywhere. He likes me too much." Mello licked his lips and Matt rolled his eyes.

"No. It's because I'm the only one who is capable of keeping Mello under control." Matt stated. From behind Matt's back Mello turned and put his arms around his head to make it look as though he were passionately kissing someone. Light struggled not to laugh. "Stop it, Mello."

"He really is good at knowing when you do stuff like that." Near stated.

"Shut up." Mello ordered, walking out the front door with everyone following after him, as if he were their leader.

"Come on, Light." Matt said, walking to the group. Light started walking when he saw L's head peek around the corner. He stopped walking and went to L who tried to gain his composure after being caught.

"Your allowed to go, aren't you?" Light asked when he finally reached L.

"Of course I am, for I cause trouble for no one." L explained.

"I know that your probably uncomfortable but... Will you come? With me? Please?" Light asked, holding his hand out to L.

L looked at the hand for a moment and then at Light's eyes. Finally he extended his own hand and took Light's.

"I'll keep you safe." Light stated with a genuine smile, making L blush. They jogged to catch up to the group and Mello and Near. Mello raised an eyebrow.

"Well, isn't it nice to have you join us, L? Now the ice cream won't melt." Mello stated.

"We don't really like ice cream, so we order it and have it brought back to L who happily eats it instead." Near explained. Light looked at L who only lowered his head so that no one could see his face, embarrassed. Light chuckled.

"Good. Then he can have mine." Light stated.

"Really? Light-kun would not mind?" L asked.

"Yeah. Unlike you I don't have a thing for sweet things." Light said as they walked into the ice cream shop. It was a plain building, with ordinary ice creams. There were many booths to sit in and a man behind the counter who's name tag read: Matsuda.

"Hello Matt. Nice to see you again, what would you like?" Matsuda asked, waving to the red head. Mello went to the front of the line and leaned on the counter, taking a cherry out of the container and placing it on his lips as he spoke.

"Hm... What is there..? I'd like... A cone. With vanilla ice cream, and..." He sucked on the cherry and then released it. "And whipped cream... And... N..." Mello popped the cherry in his mouth as he tried to think.

"... Nuts?" Matsuda guessed. They laughed, all of them except Matt, Near, L, and Light. Mello grinned in triumph.

"Your real mature." Near stated with absolute sarcasm.

"Shut up!" Mello yelled, all of the sudden very angry. He took his ice cream and stormed to sit in a booth. Near ordered his ice cream and sat in the booth next to Mello. Mello physically huffed and sank into his seat.

"What would you like?" Light asked L.

"Double strawberry with sprinkles." L stated, looking at the sign that stated all of the flavors and toppings.

"We'll take two of those." Light told Matsuda, who grinned goofily and hurried to get the ice cream cones. Matsuda handed them to Light and L who joined Mello and Near on the opposite side of the booth.

"I wonder if I can even eat this much ice cream." L stated, eyeing all of the ice cream that was just waiting for him to finish with his own. Light laughed, enjoying how L looked like a five year old in a candy store. His laughter was joined by someone else that was not at their table. The four heads turned to see A almost hiding behind a person with the same looks as L. Same except for the red eyes.

Light understood who he was right away. Beyond Birthday.

"I believe you could eat it all. Does anyone agree with me?" Beyond asked the table that grew silent. L's eyes widened and he tried to get farther away from Beyond by crawling closer to Light. "What's the matter? Anyone going to answer my question? Why don't you answer me, L?"

"Because he has nothing to say to you, obviously." Light stated, and Beyond glared at him. "If he had something to say then he would have said it by now just to make your appearance go away. So I really don't see why your still here, but it is nice to see A."

A waved from behind Beyond but Beyond caught the hand and put it back down, roughly.

"Is that true, L? Do you really want me to go away? Are you trying to tell me you don't want me? Do I have to punish you? Like last time?" Beyond grinned.

"Shut up!" Light yelled, anger taking over as L curled into Light. "You won't touch him ever again, not while I'm here!"

"Oh, are you his new taker? He is such a dog that he always needed one." Beyond stated.

"No. I am his friend. You should learn how to get one, or better yet, how to be one. Anyways, I'm sure you wouldn't be able to tame L, his mind is too independent. Even if he were dog, which he most certainly is not, then he would just turn and bite your head off." Light growled at Beyond, making the man scowl. Mello took this as his chance to act out and start barking.

"I would leave now if I were you, Beyond. Light looks about ready to punch you in the face and you can get into serious trouble for hurting a person with a mental disease." Matt explained, placing a hand on Beyond's shoulder. Beyond hit the hand off his shoulder and walked away, A following after him.

"H-he... He left... Without a fight or protest he just... Left..." L looked at the door in shock, ice cream forgotten and dripping down his hand as it melted. Then his gaze turned to Light. "You got him to leave, to just go out of fear. No one has been able to do that before... Thank you. Thank you so much."

"No need to thank me, thank Matt. If he didn't step in at the right time then I would have punched Beyond and then we would have had some trouble. Anyways, pay attention to your ice cream, it's melting." Light ordered as he grabbed a napkin and wiped away the stream of melted ice cream.

"Due to the disturbance we had, I am afraid we will have to cut this short and head back now." Matt explained, talking loud enough to make sure everyone heard and waited for everyone to get outside. L and Light walked together, enjoying the sun warm their face but not the ice cream. L quickly finished his ice cream and was handed Light's.

"Why are you so nice to me?" L asked.

"What do you mean?" Light asked back as they walked.

"Why do you do everything for me? You get me to have more fun without even trying, you get me to the ice cream store, and most importantly you saved me from a big threat. Why would you waste your time to do such things?" L asked, sincerely confused.

Light smiled.

"Because I like you. More than most people actually. Your really smart, all you need is an extra push, you know?" Light asked.

"No. I don't. Why do you like me, Light-kun? I do not understand what there is to like." L admitted, half way done with Light's ice cream as they reached the steps into Wammy's.

"I can't give you a reason because I myself doesn't even know why. I just do, L. And I want show you how much I like you, if you just let me." Light explained, stopping their walk just outside the doors of Wammy's. L tilted his head in confusion.

"As long as I do not get hurt in anyway then Light-kun may do as he pleases." L stated.

Light put his hand on L's cheek and leaned in, pressing his lips against L's. L froze against the touch, but his stomach started getting warm, heating his entire body and undoubtedly making him blush. Soon he returned the kiss, moving his lips against Light's. Light's tongue licked at his lips and soon he was given entrance, both of them exploring each other's mouths.

They pulled away for air, both panting. L's eyes widened and he dropped his ice cream, staring at Light as he realized exactly what just happened. Light tried to lean in again but L pulled away from his touch. Fear shone in his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, Light-kun!" L yelled, and then hurried inside, leaving Light in shock outside.

[You just kissed him...]

_He kissed me back!_

[He ran away.]

_... Why?_


	8. Chapter 8: Talk

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! :D I'm really grateful and I absolutely love everyone that reviews because this is my story with the most reviews ever so far, and only eight chapters! Wow. And your all giving me a big head, I suggest you stop giving me compliments before my head burns off for blushing so much. X} So I hope you read, enjoy, and review more awesome reviews please!

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Chapter 8: Talk

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'This is it. Everything is over. I ruined everything. Light surely hates me now. There's no way he couldn't. He hates me...' L thought to himself, curled up in a chair at the end of his room.

It hurt. Everything he felt hurt. When he ran from Light he felt like he made the biggest mistake of his life and it hurt him more than it ever could. Why is it that Light made him feel that way? How did Light get him to got outside and talk more? What magical power was it that Light possessed?

The door opened, and L was about to yell for whoever it was to go away, before he saw that it was Matt.

"Hey." Matt closed the door and walked to the bed to lay down on it. "I saw what happened."

"I figured you did if you came in here to talk." L stated, lowering his head onto his knees.

"So, what are you going to do?" Matt asked.

"What am I going to do? There's nothing to do." L explained, not looking at Matt. "Light was one of my best friends because he understood me and had an intellect at the same degree as mine. He didn't hate me and he saved me and... And now I ruined it all. I could have..."

"Said no?" Matt asked when L had no more words. L shook his head, wild locks moving as he did.

"No. I... I don't think I would say no..." L trailed off, more to himself than anyone else.

"L. I'm right here. Explain to me everything." Matt ordered, sitting up on the bed.

"You wouldn't understand. It would only burden you and you have your duties here at Wammy's that you must see to. I-"

"L, stop. You have to talk about it. You have to let it all out. It helps you more than you would ever think possible. Just explain." Matt instructed, moving towards L but stopped when L's head shot up, anger evident in his eyes.

"Explain? _Your _telling me to explain? You want to know what my reasonings are so bad? What about you, Matt? Why don't you explain yourself with Mello? What about that?!" L asked.

"That's different. Mello's in a mental institution for Impulse Control Disorder. So, not only does that mean that I could get fired if they found out that we are in a relation of any sorts but even if I decided to go with Mello then he might have just wanted to kiss me and not have any actual feelings for me. His actions could have just been set on impulse." Matt explained.

L's eyes widened and he lowered his head again. Matt truly was doing a smart thing, this L knew, he was just taking his frustration out on Matt.

"I know. Our situations are completely different but... I'm afraid, Matt." L stated, grabbing his ankles tightly.

"Afraid of what?" Matt asked.

"Of Light loving me..." L confessed, turning his head to the wall. "I'm scared because Beyond... Beyond said the same thing to me... And look at what he did."

"You think Light is going to be like Beyond?" Matt asked L who didn't move. Matt went in front of him and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Light isn't like that, L. Did Beyond ever hold your hand? Did Beyond ever give you a soft but loving kiss? Did Beyond ever protect you from a danger so strong it hand you almost in someone else's lap to try and get away?"

"I was in his lap?" L asked.

"That's not the point!" Matt almost yelled, but then calmed himself down. "Answer the questions."

"..." L looked Matt in the eye, black orbs looking with understanding. "No."

"Then don't you understand? You don't have to hide, he will protect you." Matt explained, letting go of L's shoulders.

"But... Also... Didn't it say that Light is... Promiscuous?" L asked, blushing.

"It also said that he was Manic Depressive and not just yesterday did it say that he was suicidal." Matt answered with a smirk. L brought a finger to his lips.

"Watari is losing his touch." L stated.

"See?! Even you agree that he's wrong. So go find Light, find your happiness." Matt ordered, pulling L off the chair.

"How do you know, Matt? How are you so sure about this?" L asked.

"Because your in love, L. I saw it as soon as you two met. You had different effects on the other and it was painfully obvious that it was love." Matt explained.

L blushed as he was pushed to the door.

"Thank you, Matt, but if you don't mind me saying that Light-kun and I are not the only ones in such an obvious relationship. Please, try to talk to Mello. It could help." L stated as he walked out the door to find Light. He had to make things different. He had to make things right.

--

Light lay on his bed, hands behind his head, looking at the ceiling. The painfully white ceiling.

[Damn, why does everything have to be such a painful white color?]

_Why does that matter to you? You should be up and running to find L. It was obvious that you hurt him._

[So? Why do you care?]

_Because I love him._

"What...?" Light whispered aloud.

[You love him? You don't love anyone. You just want to use people so you can get your share and fuck whoever you want.]

_No! I... I really do love him. More than anything actually._

[No. Not true. You have no proof.]

_Proof? You want proof to my- no- our feelings. When we kissed him our stomache grew hot. When we held his hand we felt happy. When Beyond harassed him we felt protective. When he ran we got upset._

[I'm not upset.]

_Do you hear yourself? Your trying to distract yourself from our feelings. We don't even have these contradicting thoughts around him. All we are is... Happy._

[There were times when we had these thoughts around him...]

_Yeah? Name one._

Light yelled in annoyance, covering his face with a pillow. Those thoughts were going to drive him insane! Wait... Apparently he already was, but that didn't help him anymore. He was arguing with himself if he was in love or not, but it was so obvious he was. He did not make random friends like that, nor did he protect them, or kiss them so easily. L, though, was different. Everything he did with L was easy. It was true. He loved L, but he was so shocked he couldn't accept it completely.

_What does it matter arguing anyway? We knew L was raped and we just went ahead and kissed him. He probably hates us now._

[Yeah... We really screwed up, didn't we?]

"My Kami! Can either of you ever just shut up?!" Light yelled through the pillow, making him feel like an idiot. He just yelled at himself, for talking to himself.

A knock at the door saved his little bit of sanity he kept saved.

"Come in!" Light pulled the pillow off his head, sitting up and sounding much too eager. Much to his surprise it was L who walked in with his face pink. "Hey..."

"Light-kun..." L trailed off, looking to the ground.

"I'm sorry!" Light blurted out, and L looked up at him. "I'm sorry for just kissing you, I... I heard about what Beyond did to you and it wasn't right of me to just kiss you like I did after that happened. So, I'm sorry."

"N-No. I'm sorry that I ran away. It wasn't the right action to take especially when..." L's face grew a shade darker as he put his head down. "Especially when I liked it..."

Light's eyes widened as he smiled. He walked over to L and hugged him, L immediately hugged back, burying his face in Light's shoulder.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. You did nothing wrong." Light explained, pulling L into a kiss. The kiss being different from their first, this one more passionate and hungry. Light grabbed L's wild locks, pulling him closer as L hugged him. Light's tongue licked at L's lips and L granted entry, their tongue's immediately exploring each other's mouths. L moaned into the kiss as Light's tongue worked expertly around his mouth. Light lavished in the moan and L's taste, all of it feeding him in ways that were too much for him to handle. L tasted like strawberries, which shouldn't have been as big a shock as it was when L just ate strawberry ice cream, but still Light loved it. Light tasted great to L, for someone who held no longing for sugary things Light held a small sweet taste that L was attacking with all his might. Soon Light found his pants becoming uncomfortably tight, so he broke the kiss.

L looked beautiful. His eyes glazed over and his cheeks red while panting for much needed air.

"It seems we can't go any further L. Your more of a turn on then I ever thought possible." Light stated, smirking. L then understood what Light's problem was.

"So you really are promiscuous." L stated as Light started for the door.

"Yeah, but don't worry. I'll take care of it." Light answered.

"Y-Your not going to ask me to help?" L asked.

"Never. That would be rude and I know you wouldn't be so easy as to do that right after we just started dating." Light explained, opening the door.

"Thank you, Light."

"There's no need to thank me. I love you." Light stated and then left, leaving L in his room.

--

"Guess what Near." Mello ordered walking over.

"They found a way to prove that we really are not truly blood related?" Near asked, fiddling with his sleeve.

"As great as that would be, no. I totally just saw L and Light kissing outside." Mello stated with a giant smirk. Near didn't even look at him.

"I highly doubt that, Mello. L doesn't grow relationships like that ever since the Beyond incident." Near retaliated.

"Incident?! He was fucking raped! That's not an incident. That's a freaking crime that the asshole should go to prison for!" Mello yelled, lucky for him though nobody was around, as per usual.

"You just proved my point as to why L would not perform these actions with anyone. Especially Light." Near explained.

"And what's wrong with Light?!" Mello asked, biting into a chocolate bar he had hidden in his pants.

"He's a liar, manipulator, promiscuous pretty boy with anger issues." Near stated.

"Your just jealous because you wanted to be better than L and L having a boyfriend is not something you can beat him at." Mello stated, rolling his eyes at Near. "But your going to have to deal with that Near. There are just some things you can't be number one at."

"I believe you showed proof of that when you burnt down our house. I sure could not have been more psychotic than you at that point." Near retaliated and was punched in the face by Mello.

"Fuck you, Near! Why do you care?! You hated our home! You hated our parents! I just did the dirty work for you so don't speak so little of me you albino freak!" Mello yelled, taking Matt's stolen lighter out of his pocket and showing it to Near's face. "Or do you want to end up like them?"

"Mello, if you really want to burn me then go ahead and do it." Near ordered, not moving as Mello took him by his shirt's collar. "I'm sure Matt would definitely want to date you after he hears you killed me."

Mello growled and threw Near to the ground so his head hit with a crack. Then Mello started backing away, all the while looking at Near.

"Fuck you, Near! Fuck you! You always have to be the best at everything! Even with fucking emotions! So just fuck off and leave us all alone! Fuck you!" Mello yelled and ran off.


	9. Chapter 9: Tantrum

A/N: Okay guys, I have really great news. *Insert drumroll* I gots a BETA! :D NightRoseK! She is awesome and was very quick with editing this, I must say. ;} So, you all can thank her if you no longer see my annoying spelling errors. XP And thanks for the reviews guys, really! They make me so happy! Poor annoynomous reviewers, though. I can't reply back to them... :{ So please read, review, and enjoy!

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Chapter 9: Tantrum

It was midnight and Mello sat on the floor, leaning his back against his bed with his legs crossed. Everything Near said earlier to him ran through his head as he sat there, holding the lighter, and sparking the fire to life. He wasn't psychotic, he wasn't a murderer. His parents had deserved everything that had happened to them. They'd deserved to die.

**"We have to stop them. We have to get them some kind of help. I don't know what's wrong with them, but they're crazy," a woman's soft but stressed voice stated.**

**"They're not crazy. They're just kids," the man's scratchier voice answered.**

**"Kids don't obsess over everything being in perfect order and being perfect to the greatest intensity like Nate does. Kids don't go around hurting themselves intentionally and getting angry at the smallest things like Mihael does," the woman retaliated.**

**"Yeah, well most kids weren't born with white hair and a girly form."**

**"She hates us, you know," Nate told Mihael.**

**"Of course I know that. Of course she hates us. I mean we're only the smartest kids I know. Of course she's going to be scared and hate us," Mihael angrily whispered back to Nate.**

**"And he doesn't even want to be here. You know that he is going to leave soon, for someone else? I saw her. She's pretty," Nate asked.**

**"Of course I know. I'm not an idiot, so stop talking to me like I am," Mihael ordered.**

**"Could have fooled me." Mihael threw a punch at Nate and knocked the six year old onto his butt, Nate's toy robot he was previously holding fell away from him.**

**"Fine. If you think like that, Nate, then you can stay here. I'm running away, and I was going to bring you because not even you deserve to live here, but it's fine if you think I'm so stupid," Mihael stated, walking to their window. Lucky for them, their room was on the bottom floor.**

**"But no one deserves to live here. If we leave another child will just be forced to go through what we did," Nate explained, grabbing his robot and following Mihael.**

**"Then we'll get rid of them. We'll trap them here, forever," Mihael said once they were outside.**

**"How? By lighting the house on fire or something?" Nate asked, sarcastically. Mihael grew a grin at the statement. "You can't be serious."**

**"It was your idea." And with that Mihael climbed back into the window to find a way to start the fire.**

"It was your idea," Mihael whispered, looking at the lighter that was no longer lit. "It was your fucking idea and you call me the psychotic one. It's your fault! Yours! I just did the dirty work!"

Mello started to furiously flick the lighter, trying to make the fire come back. Finally the fire came back again and his eyes glared with hate.

"It was your idea and you blame me. You say it was my fault and..!" Mello trailed off, thinking to himself.

Maybe it was his fault. Maybe he was wrong. Did he sin?

"Yes. I did wrong by following the devil. I did wrong by following Near," Mello whispered aloud.

He did wrong, he sinned, and he should pay the price. He should atone for his sins.

"Our farther, who art in Heaven, hallowed by thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. On Earth, as it is in Heaven, forgive us our day, our daily bread. And forgive us our trespassing." Mello gritted his teeth as he brought the flame onto his cheek, letting the heat burn his skin. Thinking about Near and feeling hate. "As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into..." Mello grunted against the pain, smiling as it surely started leaving its mark against his skin. "... temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen."

Finally he couldn't help it. He let out a blood curdling scream.

--

"Mello got a hold of Matt's lighter again, and decided to burn his face. He now has a scar that will most likely be permanent," L explained to Light, sitting himself next to Light on his bed. He looked at Light's lap to see his notebook there and Light currently writing in it.

"Curious?" Light asked with a smirk. L nodded, trying to read the book. But unfortunately for him, Light closed it. "Too bad, it's private."

"I thought relationships didn't have any secrets." L almost pouted. Almost.

"Well, it might have secrets, it might not. You're just funny when you're curious." Light smiled at L who finally gave in and pouted.

"You're mean." L stated.

"No, if I was mean, I would do this." With those words Light pushed L onto his back, straddling him. L laughed slightly, trying to keep a serious face, which was usually easy for him. But everything like that changed when it came to Light.

"This is not nearly as mean." L said.

"L... There is something I want to ask you, something that has been really irritating me..." Light started, his eyes locking with L's before he continued. "How is it that... How is it that you're so willing? I mean, after everything you went through with Beyond, how can you really do this without feeling scared?"

"It's difficult to explain..." L trailed off, his hand reaching to hold Light's cheek. "I am still scared- or uncomfortable, for use of a better word- over intimate things. There is a comfort that I can find with you, though, Light... I look into your eyes and see nothing but truthful love and compassion. When I look into Beyond's eyes I see nothing but hate and jealousy, no matter how much he says he loves me. His eyes will always burn red with hate. And yours will always shine gold with love."

Light smiled, leaned down and lightly kissed L on the lips.

"My eyes, huh? I'll be sure to use them more often then," Light replied.

"Now, if you don't mind Light-kun, I have a question for you as well," L started, looking at Light's eyes with a different look, one far from caring. "How did you know about what happened with Beyond and I?"

Light opened his mouth and then shut it again. He truly did not want to keep secrets from L, but what would Mello do if he found out?

"Under the circumstances of wanting to live, I can not tell you that answer," Light explained.

"So it was Mello," L concluded.

"You came to the answer, I didn't say anything if he asks." Light smiled. L rolled his eyes.

"Speaking of Mello, when is he coming back?" Light asked.

"Tonight. Near seemed fairly upset over the situation," L stated, causing Light to raise an eyebrow.

"Near? Don't he and Mello and hate each other?" Light asked.

"Light, they're brothers, of course they are going to act rude to each other, but that's just their way. Mello is really actually protective of Near and Near is caring for Mello. Near is talking to Watari about the situation," L explained.

"So, why do you think Mello did what he did?" Light wondered, rolling off L and lying next to the other, holding L in his arms.

"He said he had to atone for his sins. He needed to be punished," L replied, both of them looking at the ceiling.

"Is that what it's like to be crazy?"

"No. That's what it's like to be Mello. Truthfully, Light, I think we are all crazy in our own ways, even people that are not in asylums. Some just get tired of pretending to be normal," L stated.

"Do you wish you were normal?" Light asked, holding L tighter.

"No. Even if that meant no more fear, and being free, I like me for who I am, not who I'm supposed to be," L explained. "What about you?"

"I used to think happiness was when people accepted you. I was the most popular guy in school, I was so attractive I attracted people of both sexes to me, I had the best grades in the history of my school, and I was athletic," Light stated. "The problem was, nothing I did ever made me smile, and the more I stood out, the more pressure was put onto me. I thought I was happy, but then Misa forced me to be her boyfriend and I just started feeling worse. So, when we had sex it... it felt so good. It made me feel good for the first time in ages, so that I just wanted to keep doing it again and again. It was like an all time high..."

Light paused for a moment.

"But being here, and being with you has never made me feel happier," Light said, looking down to L who looked back with shocked eyes. "I love you, L."

"I-I love you too, Light." And they shared a small kiss.

The door opened and Matt walked in to see the two of them kissing but quickly pull apart.

"Well, I was doing rounds to see if everyone is okay, but you two seem more than okay," Matt stated with a smirk. Light glared and threw a pillow at him. Matt laughed. "Just remember, I'll be back in ten minutes. I don't want to walk in on anything traumatizing."

Matt closed the door laughing.

--

Mello walked back to Wammy's, the police officer never letting go of his arm, holding an ice pack to his face. The ice hurt more than the scar. It was there and reminding him that he was still alive in the shit hole they called Earth. Once he got inside he walked towards Near's room. It was Near's turn to be punished. Near's turn to pay. But how?

Then he heard it. A scream unlike any he had ever heard before as he passed Roger's empty desk. He turned around to see Near yelling and screaming at Watari, who held the young boy in a tight grip as the albino struggled to get free. Mello found himself dumbstruck. He never saw Near scream, never saw him fight, never saw him cry... Quickly he found himself running over to them.

"Shut up! You're lying! I'm not a Narcissist! I do care! I do! Shut up!" Near yelled, fighting through his tears.

"What are you doing to him?! What did you do?!" Mello asked, anger evident in the icy blue eyes. The anger no longer pointed at Near but Watari and Roger.

"I simply told him about his Narcissism growing." Watari tried to explain, practically carrying Near down the halls. Mello went to grab Near, but Roger stopped him.

"Stop it! Leave him alone!" Mello ordered, fighting to get past Roger.

"We need to put him in the back room and keep him locked there until he is done having his temper tantrum," Roger stated as Watari forced Near into the room and locked the door from the outside. Finally, Mello was allowed to rush to the door, looking through the small window on the door that would only show his eyes. Near was banging on the door, crying.

"I care! I care!" Mello heard him scream.

"It's going to be okay Near! I promise, you'll be fine. You just have to calm down," Mello instructed. Light and L walked out of their room then, looking down at the sight.

"No! It won't be okay! It will never be okay! I'll never be okay!" Near screamed at the top of his lungs, still banging on the door.

"Dammit," Mello whispered to himself, kicking the nearby wall as L and Light walked to him. "What do I do?"

"I have an idea," Light stated. "Wait here."

Light ran down the hall and to the room he'd first met Near in. The cage with all of the toys was still securely locked. Light kicked a table's leg and broke the chain off with it, opening the cage door. He grabbed an armful of toys and raced down the hall, back to Mello and L. He placed the toys down and took the toy robot and held it to the glass.

"Look Near. I'm Kira, the evil robot. I am going to re-organize this world by getting rid of all the criminals. The world will become pure, and I will become God," Light said, moving the toy around. L grabbed a hand puppet and held it next to Light's robot for Near to see.

"And I'm L the detective. I'm here to stop Kira from killing criminals because I believe that everyone has the right to live for as long as they should. Good or evil. Free or in jail," L explained moving his around. Mello grabbed a scary looking action figure that was a monster of some kind, and held it to the window.

"I'm the Shinigami Ryuk, who helps Kira kill the criminals, and I love apples!" Mello yelled, smirking.

"..." Near stopped banging the door and they all wished they could see how the young albino looked. "Apples?"

"Yeah, apples." Mello smiled, relieved.

Matt walked down the hallway at that point, freezing when he saw them.

"How did you get those toys? What are you guys doing? You should be in your rooms. It's time to sleep." Matt started panicking. Mello grabbed him and pulled him close.

"It's okay, just calm down."

"You're going to get me fired."

"Shh, come play."

"I'm so dead..."

Mello smirked and kissed Matt, and Matt kissed back this time. What did it matter? He was surely going to get fired anyway.


	10. Chapter 10: Death

A/N: So I actually got this back from my Beta a few days ago but my computer was taken away. :{ So here it is! I appreciate all the reviews, they are getting dangerously close to One hundred! :D When/if they reach one hundred I will write something special for the reviewers! Until then would you all mind taking my poll???? Anyways, I blame the book Impulse for this chapter. Really, if it gets confusing then I'm sorry! And I got virtual cake from Panda-chan, it is really good. Without any more wait, I hope you read, enjoy, and review! :D

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Chapter 10: Death

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Quiet. It was so quiet as L watched them sleep. He never usually fell asleep until early morning, sleeping for a few hours, but it was different now. L couldn't sleep as he sat in Light's arms, couldn't sleep as he watched Mello's chest rise and fall from on top of Matt's own chest, couldn't sleep as he listened to Light's constant and slow breaths. He couldn't sleep because it all felt too right.

The rays of sunlight grew brighter, signaling that it was becoming late morning when L heard a pair of footsteps walking to them. Light was stirred by the sound and Mello and Matt also were disturbed by the interruption.

Watari was soon seen, his body freezing completely at the sight. Light's eyes widened and he jumped off the ground, running to his room. He went to his bed and realized there was nowhere to hide, and soon Watari opened the door with a look of pure anger.

"Ever since you came here you've been causing more trouble than those kids need. I have my eye on you, Light Yagami," Watari stated, then turned to look down the hall again. "And Mail. This is inappropriate behavior. You are to talk to Roger about your punishment, but I'll be right to know you'll be grounded outside of the grounds."

Watari turned and left them after tossing Matt the key to Near's room. Matt silently opened the door and kept silent as he was getting holes glared through his head by the other four.

Finally, he couldn't take it.

"What?!" Matt asked.

"Why is Roger giving you punishment when Watari runs this place? And why did he say that you would be grounded?" L asked, standing up. Mello shot up from the ground and glared even harder than before at the redhead.

"It's not that important," Matt stated, moving to get around but Mello grabbed him and shoved him against the wall.

"Answer the question," Mello ordered, growling.

"I..." Matt trailed off, looking at Mello and then to the ground. "My name is Mail Jeevas, but my adoptive name is Mail Jeevas Ruvie. Roger Ruvie adopted me when I was younger and I've been working here under both he and Watari since I turned fifteen."

They stayed silent as they stared at the redhead. Then Mello slapped Matt across the face.

"Fuck you," Mello growled, flicking stray burnt hairs out of his eyes. "I've been waiting until I got out of here to make a move on you. Waiting until it was safe and you couldn't get fired for starting a relationship. But then I realized that I'm never getting out. So, I made a move and you ignored me! But I understood because of your job, but all along you fucking live with Roger?! You wouldn't have been fired?!"

"Do you know Roger?" Matt asked. "He's been keeping me on the tightest leash since he adopted me. He probably will fire me since Watari didn't."

"I hate you..." Mello trailed off, finally freeing Matt who took the blond in his arms, soothing Mello with whispered words. "I hate you..."

Matt kissed the top of Mello's head as a throat was cleared at the end of the hallway. There stood a very angry-looking Roger.

"I've got to go, Mello. I love you," Matt whispered before he ran off. Both he and Roger disappeared around the corner.

"I'm going to see him again," Mello stated, crossing his arms.

"How do you know that?" Near asked, curling a lock of hair as he picked up a toy.

"Because I always get what I want," Mello smirked, walking to his room. "One way or another."

--

"So Matt's in trouble? Fired?" Light asked, moving a chess piece across the board as he talked to L.

"Watari won't tell me," L answered, moving his own piece.

"Does he know about us?" Light asked, knocking down one of L's pieces and taking it to his side of the table.

"Thankfully, no. Just imagine what he would do if he ever found out." L shivered, moving his last piece to the desired place. "Check mate."

"Now we're tied," Light smiled at L, who's only response was to take out the box of sugar cubes he had saved and started eating them. Light watched with horror and disgust as L consumed the first sugar cube, listening to the sickening crunch of the sugar being devoured in his mouth. "Why do you like sweet things so much?"

"Why don't you like sweet things?" L asked in return.

"I don't know, I just don't," Light shrugged.

"And I don't know why I do, I just do," L replied, taking another cube into his mouth. Light rolled his eyes at the answer and smirked as L licked the sugar cube closing his eyes at the blissful taste.

"It's like an orgasm for you, isn't it?" Light asked, his grin growing as L blushed deeply.

"I-I cannot say that for I have never had an orgasm before, as Light has. Which brings up a question I would like to know, if you do not mind answering it...?" L trailed off, looking at Light with soft eyes. "Why are you in here? You said it was because you're promiscuous but... For some reason I just can't believe that."

"..." Light took a breath as he held L's hand and looked back into the obsidian orbs. "I don't mind telling you if you don't mind listening. It's not pretty, and I'm sure you won't think the same of me when you learn how... how weak," He spat out the word 'weak', voice dripping with hate towards himself, "I was."

--

_So maybe it's wrong in everyone's mind. Maybe I've done the most despicable thing. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not the picture perfect person everyone sees me to be._

_So what does that mean?_

_And why is he yelling at me?_

_I did a simple act. The same act he took to make myself, his prodigy. The perfect son, the perfect student, the perfect boyfriend, lover, best friend. So many titles and all that matters is the fact that I am perfect. Isn't that what he always wanted? Perfection?_

"How dare you do such things! Especially under my roof; I thought we raised you better than that! I thought you would be smart and wait until you were married," Dad fumed.

"What's so wrong, Dad? It's just sex, not to mention I was being smart and used a condom. Anyways, didn't you and mom lose your virginity when you were freshmen?"

That caused a glare unlike any I have ever had to deal with.

"Didn't we teach you better? I thought we raised you to be above this," Mom trailed off.

"Go to your room. You're grounded."

And so I went to my room with my always calm and stoic expression, the mask practically glued to my face as I closed the door and stood looking at it, questions running like fire through my head.

_What did I do? Why can't I ever have anything?_

The memories of why I was here flooded my mind.

**Keep up the good grades.**

**You're at the top of your class as usual.**

**We knew you would be accepted into To Oh University.**

**Hey, can you help me with this? You are a genius after all.**

**Your IQ is unlike any other.**

**Don't slack, Light. You have so much potential that it can not be wasted.**

**I've seen you're good at tennis, why don't you compete? I'm sure you would win.**

**Don't start slacking now, you're going to get a job as a police officer with me, right?**

And even though every voice was talking to me in such a rush and jumble, I only clearly understood a select few words. The most important words of my life. And they rang out like everyone was saying them in unison.

**Do.**

**Not.**

**Fail.**

And that was it. My mind came crashing down as I locked the door and then began violently attacking the things in my room. I threw the desk over, my computer and lamp crashing horridly. But I didn't care. Why should I?

_I never wanted this. I never wanted to be perfect. I was born with these smarts and looks and stamina that cursed me the day I was born. I NEVER wanted this! Sayu doesn't have to deal with this, but I do! I have no choice in anything, no choice in my future, and no choice in my happiness._

[Not anymore, anyway.]

_Misa came, and forced me into a relationship. She forced me into bed and then it was so strange. So fucking strange that it scared me at first. I've never felt that way before in my whole life, never felt that feeling of being able to lose myself completely and just feel, and not only just feel, but feel good. It all felt so good, a feeling much too foreign to me that... that I didn't know what to do..._

[But I kept doing it.]

_Because I can't just go day to day doing things for them! I can't be at their mercy! I can't be their BITCH!_

[When I'm not even my own.]

I finally snapped out of my angry haze to hear pounding at my door.

"Light! Open the door!"

"Please stop!"

"Let us help you!"

[Even now they still order me around.]

_And it's not right! Why can't I control anything?! Why are they so bent on taking my life from me and playing me like I'm a puppet?!_

[Because they can. Because they have the power. Just as I had the power to fuck Misa into the bed, they have the power to control my every whim.]

_No! No, it can't be true! It just can't..!_

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" I yelled to the door, anger grabbing hold of my veins as I glared through the door and the occupants outside quieted.

"You think I don't hear you? You think I'm deaf or something?! Huh?! You're just giving me a headache, you're making me even more pissed! I heard you say you want to help. But how? How?! You're not willing to see through my eyes! You're not willing to understand anything! Are you even able to mutter the fucking words 'I'm sorry'?!" I screamed, throwing my arms around as I yelled at the door.

The quietness hung for a while.

"What do we have to apologize for?" My mother asked, and that was all I needed, all I needed to fully understand.

_They don't care about me, and they never will. I've been their play toy, made to please the eye of anyone who chose to look my way, grab their attention with all of my gifts, and reel them in so my parents can gloat. I'm their show toy._

[I always have been. And always will be.]

_No. No, no, NO! That can't be true! It just CAN'T! They can control my body, they can control the choices that are made, but they can't control one thing._

[My death.]

I picked up the desk and went to the bottom drawer that held my sleeping medication; my parents gave it to me when I started getting to worked up by my studies. I also grabbed a water bottle that was secretly hidden with wine that I was waiting to try.

[I hold this choice. To enter the blissful darkness that almost seems heart-warming. Death. A real goodbye to all life. A real goodbye to being used. A real goodbye to the pain and suffering I've dealt with my whole life. Goodbye to Mom, to Dad, to Sayu. A happy goodbye that they can't stop, even if they tried. A real free choice.

And it's all mine.]

"Light. Light, please answer us. What do you want?" Dad asked.

I couldn't help what I did next. I laughed, uncontrollable laughter.

"What do I want? What do I want?! Now it matters?! Now that you're on the opposite side of the door questioning my sanity and my actions, you suddenly want to know what I want?!" I couldn't hold back my laughter. It was all too funny.

"It's quite simple, really. I want freedom. I want escape. I want death. And I'm taking it. No matter what you all say or do. I'm going to die." It felt so good to growl at them, so good to be in control. It was like fucking Misa into the ground with all my power and making her scream and beg for more.

"No! No please rethi-"

Pounding and more begs grew as I opened the bottle. I drowned everything out, looking at the pills.

[My escape.]

I swallowed half of the pills, choking as the hard chalky substances scraped against my throat and forced their way down. Before they even finished their journey, I chugged the wine, drinking in as much as possible.

[My choice.]

I felt the effects immediately. Falling to my knees as my head started getting attacked with dizziness. My stomach was churning violently, gasping at the pain that wanted to discharge out of my stomach. I needed to throw up, but I knew that would stop me from dying. I knew I would lose it all.

[My freedom.]

Darkness was enveloping my eyes as I felt someone grabbing my body and holding it against theirs. My stomach couldn't hold out any longer and nor could my consciousness.

[My death.]

--

L's eyes felt tears threatening him as he heard the end of Light's story. Now it all made sense why someone as beautiful as Light, someone as smart as Light, someone as popular as Light, was in the asylum. L could understand Light's parents, because he saw everything about Light was perfect, even more so in his eyes. But that still gave them no right to push him, no right to take away his choices, no right to hurt Light. His Light.

"Do you hate me? Do you hate me because I was weak and for that moment in time I stopped being so perfect? Do you?" Light asked, fear and depression showing clearly in his eyes.

"I could never hate you, Light. Even if you denied me, hurt me, and threw me to be encased alone forever I would still love you," L explained, holding Light's face in his hands. Light placed his left hand on top of L's.

"I think I really understand now. Love and sex; Sex was something to make me physically feel good because internally I had no chance of that ever happening. But this love... this love I feel for you makes me feel so good internally that I would trade sex forever for a moment of just this. I'd wait forever for you to be comfortable. I just want us to be happy. Both of us."

Then their lips met in a heart-felt kiss.


	11. Chapter 11: Leave

A/N: One... One hundred and one reviews?! Oh, my! I think I'm so happy I died. XP Well, because we reached one hundred reviews I will write you all a LxL one shot! In your review just tell me what you want it to be about, then we can take a vote by making a new poll. :D Thank you all SO much! And NightRoseK really deserves a round of applause for Betaing this thing, this chapter had many confusing spelling things... XP It's all better now! Thanks for more virtual cake! I LOVE cake. :} But now for the bad news, the next update will be a bit slow, seeing as school is starting Wensday AND I have to update my other story of which I am losing passion for because this story is more fun. XD Really, I am sorry. And if anyone can guess where I got the quote from gets... Uh... Er... I don't know, you tell me what you want! XD Anyways, after all that news, please read, enjoy, and review! :D

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Chapter 11: Leave

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Light sat outside Watari's office. It was a few hours after Light talked to L, and Matt was in trouble and still nowhere to be seen. Mello had refused to talk to Watari or Roger, and constantly sat with Near who kept the toy they used as Kira. Roger and Watari tried to take it back but Mello was always present to make sure neither so much as touched Near. L was yelled at for misbehaving but not much else was done to him, for it was his first time getting punished. Near was yelled at as well, but Mello got the worst punishment so far. Watari and Roger gave him shots and moved his room.

So that left Light to face his ultimate death, otherwise known as Watari.

"Come in Light," Watari called. Light took his last deep breath to reassure himself, and then he reluctantly got to his feet and walked into the office. Watari sat at the desk, papers on top, as Light walked to the couch and sat down.

"You look tired," Watari noted.

"L, Mello, Matt, and I stayed up all night comforting Near. But you already know that," Light answered, crossing his legs and leaning his head into his hand. Watari pointedly ignored the last comment.

"So, you've made friends with Mello and L?" Watari asked.

"Why? Is that wrong?"

"Does it feel wrong?"

"No."

"Before you came here did you have many guy friends? Would you say that before you came here most of your friends consisted of girls?" Watari asked, completely changing the course of the conversation.

"Does it say in those papers that I'm promiscuous?" Light asked, fighting Watari back with his own question.

"Why do you choose that word?"

"How many people do I have to sleep with to be titled promiscuous? Textbook promiscuous."

"How many do you think?"

"Ten, fifteen, eight?" Light listed numbers off the top of his head. "And how many people would a girl my age have to sleep with to be considered promiscuous? Ten, eleven, twenty?"

"Well, someone who is compulsively promiscuous will partake in a sexual act with their significant other one day and then take part in another sexual act with a friend later that same day," Watari explained, folding his hands and placing them on the desk. Light paused.

"Am I in trouble for kissing L, or having sex with Misa?" Light asked before he realized he did. Internally he cursed himself, but Watari chose not to comment on it.

"I was looking back at our therapy sessions together in these papers." Watari flipped through some papers, looking for just the right one. "You once said that your theory of your illness is that you were always made to be ordered around. That you were never meant to take control."

"Yeah, and another one of my theories is that none of you people have any idea of what you're doing around here," Light growled.

"Still, you acknowledge there is a problem coping-"

"I have a problem coping with this damn hospital," Light stated, unfolding his legs so he could lean on them and get closer to Watari. "I want to leave."

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

"Why not? I signed myself in, I should be allowed to sign myself out."

"Indeed you did sign yourself into our care. That means that, since you're in our care, we decide when you get out," Watari explained. "You're not ready for it, Light. Your progress has fallen."

There was a pause as Light thought over what he had just heard, glaring at the older man.

"Does that disappoint you?" Watari asked. Light leaned back, shrugging.

"I'm apathetic. In fact, it's my new favorite word," Light stated.

"Do you know what that word means?"

"I don't care."

"You should care if it's your favo-"

"It means I don't care," Light hissed.

"Oh, on the contrary. I think the word you're thinking of is ambivalent," Watari stated, taking out a dictionary.

"No. You're wrong." Light got up and grabbed the dictionary, trying to find the page he was looking for. "Ambivalent means simultaneous and contradictory thoughts towards a course of action. Continual fluctuation between one thing and its opposite, or uncertainty as to which approach to follow."

Light found the page and dropped the book on Watari's desk for the elder man to see. Watari stared at the page in shock as Light went to go and sit back down.

"Will I stay, or will I go?" Light asked, referring to the word.

"Am I sane, or am I crazy?" Watari answered.

"Those aren't courses of actions."

"They can be, Light. They can be, for some."

"Well, it's the wrong word anyway." Light leaned into the couch.

"No. I think it's perfect," Watari stated, closing the book. "Fureta yoru wo kowarasetemo, yume to iu yokubou no kage wo yobitsuzukeru, kyuno tsumi to itami wo shinjiteyuku."

"We may never break through this endless night, but that tiny selfish dream remains that we'll see another morning, if we can just accept our sins and the pain they bring," Light translated, glaring.

"Can you accept your sins and all the pain they have brought? It's a big question you're faced with, Light," Watari explained. "Can you indulge in your flaws? What are your flaws? Are they flaws? If you embrace them will you commit yourself to this hospital for life? Big questions, big decisions. Not surprising that you'd express carelessness about them."

Light stared at him for a moment. Not moving, and most certainly glaring the whole time.

_Damn him..!_

"Is that it?" Light asked, hand twitching as he fought to control himself.

"No. There is one last thing I would like to talk to you about," Watari started, leaning back into his chair. "It's about your relationship with L."

_Oh, how did I know that was coming?_

"What about it? Is that wrong too? Am I bad for giving L what no one else could?" Light asked, annoyance growing sharply through his veins.

"No. There's nothing wrong with having a relationship and I'm not going to stop it but I would like to take notice that things are moving fast for the two of you," Watari stated.

"Fast? We made out for the first time yesterday!" Light almost yelled, fighting the urge to jump out of his seat. How did Watari know exactly how to press his buttons?

"But you do understand who you both are, correct? You, Light, are a popular and promiscuous young man. L is shy and a victim of rape. You both are polar opposites and even kissing is too much too soon for someone like L," Watari explained and Light opened his mouth as if to say something, but soon closed it. "All I wish to truly do is protect everyone here and help them."

_Maybe Watari's right. Maybe I am rushing L. What will I do? How does L feel?_

"When L says he's ready for something, that's the time we'll do anything at all. Until then I'm going to have to stick to relieving myself in the bathroom," Light growled, eyes showing all his anger. "And if you really are worried about protecting people, then maybe you should try letting Mello see Matt. Their relationship isn't hurting anyone."

Light stood, turning towards the door, but not moving.

"Light! Think about all you're doing! L needs more time and you need someone who can meet your sexual needs, so why don't you both just go your separate ways?" Watari asked.

"More time? He needs more time? Watari, he was raped when he was five years old! It's been thirteen years! How long do you plan on smothering him?!"

"When he rids himself of his disorder and is able to at least say a friendly hello to anyone who offers it. He lives in fear of strangers and when he gets friends he will do anything to hold onto them," Watari explained. "He considers you his best friend for reasons I don't know. He dates you because he wants to hold onto you, and if you asked he would most definitely sleep with you if that meant you would stay with him forever."

"..." Light bit his lip, keeping his back to Watari. He lowered his head and tried to think about the words Watari spoke. "Would...would L really do that? Just to keep friends? Really, would he do that?"

"You know of his disorder," Watari stated as Light clenched his hands into fists. "The real question is what will you do, Light? Now that you know about L, what will you do?"

Silence fell over as Light's fists started to shake.

_Fuck you... Fuck you!_

"Are you done, now?" Light asked, ignoring the other man. He didn't have an answer, especially for Watari, so he planned on leaving the room no matter what Watari said.

"Yes."

_Good._

[Because I'm going to leave this place. And I'm going to bring L with me.]

--

"Mello? What are you doing awake at this hour?" Roger asked, walking to Mello who sat watching television. The blond continued to sit, not taking his ice-blue eyes away from the screen.

"What was your dream when you were little Roger? It couldn't have been to work here, that would just be stupid. What was it?" Mello asked in an uncharacteristically calm voice.

"My...my dream was to help people. True, I did not see myself working here, but this is just as good as any other job with helping people," Roger explained.

"Are you happy?" Mello asked, biting into a chocolate bar.

"...You really should be asleep, Mello." Roger trailed off, looking at the entranced blond.

"My dream was to be helpful and keep people safe. It was always to make people happy even though people think I'm heartless," Mello explained, idly chewing the chocolate in his mouth. "I think I'll work in Disney Land. Near could come too, he could be Mickey Mouse and no one would know that he's an albino. Matt could be a prince, what person would not want to be his princess? Light could be another prince, he already makes all the girls swoon. And L could be his princess, he'd make a pretty girl..."

"What would you do, Mello?" Roger asked.

"I'd work from the shadows as an officer so I can shoot the bad people. Or maybe sell candy at a shop for all the hungry little kids. Whichever pays better."

Silence took over as Roger turned off the television and took the chocolate away from Mello without any protest. He was getting grudgingly scared about when the blond would blow.

"Let's get to bed." Roger guided Mello to his room and laid the blond on his bed. He took out a needle and inserted it into Mello before he went to the door to exit the room, but stopped and turned to Mello. "I'm sorry."

"I know," Mello stated and Roger closed the door. Mello rolled onto his side, pulling out another needle and inserting it into himself. "But that's not going to stop me."


	12. Chapter 12: Run

A/N: I'm supposed to be sleeping. Shush. I just got this and my phone vibrated saying my beta send it back and I was like Must Update. So here I am, sneaking on to give you this sloppy chapter. I promise it will get better after this, I just need this information out now. XD By the way, something I find hilarious. My phone is retarded but gets my emails, so when you guys review and such, my phone is nonstop vibration during school and I keep jumping surprised and have to make lame excuses to my teachers. Oh yeah, school sucks, just to let you all know. I got lost five times. I'm so mad. Anyways, enough of my talk, read, enjoy, and review!

* * *

Chapter 12: Run

Watari closed the last door of the hallway and continued over to the next to finish up doing the midnight rounds. He and Roger now had to look in twice as many hallways since Matt was being grounded. The night was too quiet - aside from the occasional footsteps of either Watari, Roger, or someone else that worked in the asylum walking by - and even though the night lights were dimly lit, it was still very dark.

That was when Light poked his head out of his room and looked both ways down the hall. It was clear of life and sound, no footsteps signaling someone soon to pass by. Light took a deep breath to help him make the move out of his room, for as soon as he left his room, there was no turning back. Quickly, Light moved out of the room and towards L's, when he heard upcoming footsteps. He moved faster, trying not to make noise so as not to attract attention, getting closer to L's room.

"Light?" A voice asked from the other end of the hall, a voice Light had not expected. He turned to face the other end.

"Mello, what are you doing here? How are you even awake; I thought Watari put you back on shots," Light stated as Mello walked to him. The blond pulled a needle out of his pocket, spinning it around his fingers.

"Everyone here has to carry the antibiotic to the shots with them, in case they get shot themselves. I was able to pick this off Roger," Mello explained. "What are you doing here?"

"I think, the same thing as you," Light stated, grinning.

"Great minds think alike, but we should really get into L's room before someone else spots us here," Mello explained, pushing Light to L's door. They entered quietly and closed the door behind them, keeping the lights off so there would be no suspicions. Mello waited by the door as Light went to L's side and gently touched what he thought to be L.

"Hey L, wake up," Light murmured softly. Mello had to keep from laughing.

"I'm over here, Light-kun." L stood up from where he was just sitting in the corner of his room.

"Wait, you guys have been dating and yet you still don't know that L's an insomniac?" Mello asked, crossing his arms in amusement.

"Shut up," Light growled, making Mello chuckle.

"What are you both doing here, besides looking for me?" L asked, walking closer to the two.

"We're leaving this place. There's no way we're going to get better here, with Watari and Roger not having a clue of what they're doing," Light explained.

"You want me to come with you?" L asked.

"I'd never leave you alone, or put you in danger," Light stated.

"In other words, we don't have all night to stand here and explain. You coming or not?" Mello interrupted impatiently. L's nod was just visible due to the moonlight that shone through the window.

"Okay."

Mello smirked and opened the door, listening for footsteps and looking for any life forms. He waved behind him for L and Light to follow him as he snuck over to Near's room. Again, they kept the lights turned off and this time Mello was left to get Near. The younger boy was awake, sitting up in his bed and looking out his window.

"I knew you would come. What location have you chosen for us to run away to?" Near asked, tightly hugging his toy robot. Mello grabbed Near's hand, not too roughly, but also not gently.

"Disney Land," Mello stated, moving to the door and practically dragging Near with him.

"Disney Land? Seriously?" Light asked.

"I have it all planned out," Mello stated, pulling Near out the door after checking the hall. L and Light followed, listening as Mello whispered. "We're going to stop at A's and stay there until I can get enough money for us to travel and get Matt as well."

"To go to Disney Land?" Light asked, still shocked by the blond's location choice.

"Yes, Light. To Disney Land," Mello hissed. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, just be quiet," Light warned. Mello huffed and walked faster, making Near trip over himself as he tried not to lose his arm. They made it outside, and as soon as the cool air hit their faces, they broke into a sprint for the road. They ran past bushes and the driveway so they got to the main road. Mello let go of Near so he could put his thumb up as an indication for car's to stop for them.

"How do you know where A lives?" L asked, unconsciously inching closer to Light for warmth. The weather was due for snow, and their present clothes were not protecting them from the cold.

"Watari left a letter from A on his desk." Mello took the paper out of his pocket. "Address and all."

A car drove by and kept going, leaving them in the dark again.

"And this is our mastermind of a plan?" Near asked, sarcastically.

"We could leave you here," Mello growled as another car came by, this one a large van that actually stopped. "Come on!"

"Where are you going?" A man with dark black hair to his chin asked, glasses on his face. In the passenger seat was a woman with short black hair that looked at Light and blushed. In fact, Light could have sworn he saw the man do the same thing.

"This address." Mello gave the man the letter, and the man gave a surprised look.

"You're in luck. We're headed that way, come in." The man handed the letter back to Mello who got everyone in the van before he himself did. "My name is Mikami Teru. This is Takada Kiyomi."

"I'm Mello."

"Near."

"Hello, I'm Light."

"... L." The three were surprised to hear L speak to the strangers. Usually L would not so much as even speak the one lettered first name to a stranger but he did for those two.

_Interesting..._

"Interesting names..." Mikami trailed off, obviously not believing them at all. He looked through the mirror to glance at Light and then return his gaze to the road. "We have to stop for the night before we make it to your location, is that okay?"

"Yeah, thank you so much," Light thanked.

L got closer to Light, but Light shifted so that he was leaning against the car door and looking out the window, putting space between himself and L. When L looked at Light, confused, the chestnut haired boy did nothing but smile caringly. Mello raised an eyebrow and even Near looked shocked, but no one dared to comment.

It was going to be a long ride.

--

Indeed the ride was long; and quiet except for the radio that Takada had playing violin melodies, and Mikami basically interrogating Light. L noticed how Light was distancing himself physically from L, but still kept close with his smiles. L also noticed that Mikami was paying too much attention to Light, as was Takada. It was setting the eccentric teen on edge, making him bite his thumb even more.

The car stopped at a house that had many cars parked outside. There were people sitting on the porch and people moving inside that could be seen from the car. They got out and stretched, the ride being too long and the sky actually getting brighter.

"We're just going to take a break and sleep here until about Eight in the morning. We're only a few miles from your destination," Takada explained to Light. "Would you like something? I could get it for you…"

"Sorry, Kiyomi-san, but I'm gay and taken," Light stated, looking to a glaring L who blushed a deep crimson when they both looked at him.

"Oh, okay." Takada took it well, not upset or anything.

_Why can't all girls be like that? Especially Misa?_

L was about to go to Light when Mikami put a hand on the chestnut haired boy's shoulder.

"Hey, Light. Follow me; I'd like to show you something," Mikami stated, pulling Light along, whether he wanted to or not. L stared, anger flowing through him as he watched where Mikami and Light disappeared inside.

"He sure is popular. Even around strangers," Mello noted, nodding his head to where Light once was.

"That's because he's standing amongst freaks, and was already good looking," Near explained, twirling a lock of his hair.

"I'm worried about him, though," Mello stated, taking out a chocolate bar and opening it. "That Mikami guy is gay, and was hitting on him the whole ride here. Him hearing Light's gay may cause Light some problems."

"Problems?" L asked worriedly as Mello took a bite of his chocolate. "Light said he was taken though!"

"That's not enough to stop most people," Mello admitted, walking to the house and acting like he did not care about the situation at all. "He's a big boy, he can take care of himself just fine."

"But...anything could happen," L muttered, thoughts of what Beyond did to him flooding back into his head. It hurt and it was scary, he wanted the images to go away, but they wouldn't because he could only keep thinking that the same thing might happen to Light. What if Mikami didn't take no as an answer? What if Light got raped? What if, what if, what if..? "Anything can happen..!"

"Yeah. Your right, I guess," Mello agreed, shrugging.

"No. I won't let it happen..!" L stated, running inside to find Light. Near stared at L and then looked to Mello.

"You might be ruining things," Near said, walking to his brother.

"Or I could be saving them," Mello retaliated.

"How much do you want to bet?" Near asked as they walked to the house.

"Our first pay checks."

"Deal."

--

"This is a very interesting book about the law, Teru-san, really. I'm actually looking to become a detective one day, but I'm really tired right now. Is there anywhere I can sleep?" Light asked, placing the book down on a desk and turning to see Mikami just inches away. It shocked him, but he kept his façade of being calm as he questioned the man. "Excuse me, you're really close."

"I'm sorry, Light-kun, but you're really the most amazing person I have ever met. Gay, amazing looking, intelligent, and into the law? I think we were made to be," Mikami purred. Light tried not to say anything rude or mean since the man was their ride to A.

"I have a boyfriend," Light reminded.

"That L kid? You can't possibly be serious about him when there's a normal guy like me around," Mikami stated.

_Shit, that's not working... What else?_

"I'm crazy, you know? Mentally insane. You really don't want to be with me," Light explained.

"Oh, but I do. I know that's a lie," Mikami retaliated. Light was getting worried, he was having problems trying to think of excuses (they were not really excuses since most of them were true) as Mikami kept them close. Then Mikami did the worse thing Light could ever have thought; he closed the distance between their lips and kissed him. Light was shocked into freezing.

_Shit._

The door opened and L ran in to see them in mid session.

_Are you kidding me?! Fuck!_

Light's body woke up and was able to push Mikami off. Mikami stumbled backwards with a look of shock upon his face, then he looked to L and glared. L glared back.

"That," L started, turning so his hands were on the floor and kicking Mikami in the jaw before he had the chance to move. "Is my boyfriend."

Mikami stepped back, holding his quickly reddening jaw in shock.

"You would rather be with this violent freak than me?!" Mikami yelled to Light. Light walked up to Mikami and punched him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of the man, and forcing Mikami to fall to his knees, panting.

"He is not a freak," Light growled, taking L's hand and pulling them close together for the first time that night. L had missed Light's touch a lot more than he'd thought. "He's perfect."

Then they walked out of the room, hand in hand.


	13. Chapter 13: Trust

A/N: *Sings* What's this? What's this? A new chapter to be read? What's this? There's a lemon up ahead! ... Sorry, my chorus is singing Nightmare Before Christmas and I actually sang that aloud when I got this back from Rose. XD So, yes, there is a LEMON! Whooo! ... :D Anyways, I'm pretty sure you all knew there was going to be one of these at one point or another so I don't really understand why your reading this when every two seconds Light is like: "Sex..." So, I shouldn't have to warn you but I did so there. It also came to my attention that last chapter I forgot to say where the qoute came from that Watari used in the chapter before that. It did not come from the movie, but it did come from another anime called D. Gray-Man. So, yeah, if there's anything else that I need to say, let me know! ;} And I hope you read, enjoy, and review!

* * *

Chapter 13: Trust

* * *

When they were out of the room, Light let L's hand drop, walking down the hall. L froze when his hand fell, watching Light walk away. What had happened? Didn't Light just admit that he was with L? L just risked his life for Light, and yet Light was going back to acting strange, and L couldn't take that anymore. L wouldn't take it anymore.

"Stop, Light," L ordered, his head bowed down. Light stopped and turned around, looking at L scratch his leg with his foot, hands in pockets.

"What's the matter, L?" Light asked, worried.

"Do you want to break up with me?" L's head stayed down as Light walked up to him. Light touched L's cheek gently.

"Of course not."

"Then why are you treating me like Misa?!" L asked, shooting his head up in anger. Light took a step back, shocked at seeing L angry for the first time. "You won't touch me, you won't be near me, but you keep smiling at me like you don't really want me and you just want to use me!"

"L..." Light trailed off, hugging L. "I wasn't trying to hurt you, I was trying to give you space."

"Space? Why would I need space?" L asked.

"Watari... Kind of convinced me..." Light admitted.

"Watari is like my father. He will always be overprotective of me no matter who, what, or where I am. I am grateful to him, but he needs to learn that if anyone needs to give me space, it is him," L explained, holding Light closer. "And most certainly not you."

Light couldn't hold back anymore, as he let himself go, and hungrily kissed L. Their tongues automatically met, twisting around each other. Light pinned L to the wall, taking complete control of the kiss as L wrapped his fingers in Light's hair, moaning and squirming from Light's expertise.

Light broke the kiss and L gasped for air, panting as he tried to regain his normal breathing rate.

"I... I just want to know..." Light panted, staring back into L's eyes, looking for any form of lies that may be hidden in the obsidian orbs. "I want... To make sure... You want this, right? These kisses, these touches, me. You want all of it, and you're not doing it just so I don't leave you?"

"I promise you, Light, that I have never wanted anything more. In fact, I'm willing to show you just how much I want all of this." L smirked as he grabbed Light's shirt and pulled the chestnut-haired teen into a random room, locking the door behind him. To his pleasure, and extreme luck, it was a bedroom. L walked to the bed and lay down, still smirking at Light. "Take me."

Light stood in shock at the wonderfully sexy scene before his eyes, trying to process the information given to him.

_Did he really say what I thought he said…?_

"Excuse me?"

"I believe you heard me quite right, Light. Take me, before Mello and Near get impatient," L ordered, getting comfortable. Light walked over, completely soaking in the sight before his eyes, and then leaned down to give L a small kiss.

"Maybe it's too so-" L pulled Light into a kiss, effectively keeping Light from talking.

"You talk too much," L stated, panting as Light crawled on the bed, straddling L underneath him. An almost animal look was in Light's eyes that made L shrink a little.

"Just remember, L Lawliet, that you asked for this," Light replied, smiling at L, and all L needed was that smile to know that Light would take care of him. Light kissed L, wrapping his tongue around the other's and sucking on the wet muscle. L moaned, wrapping his arms around Light's shoulder and leaning into him.

Light broke the kiss again to pull L's shirt over the other's head and immediately attack the skin, but then paused. Chocolate eyes roamed the perfect porcelain skin, looking at the beautiful torso. L was small, and even though his ribs were visible, Light could still see the muscles L grew. L's face burned under Light's watch, and he squirmed uncomfortably.

"I was right about what I said to Mikami..." Light trailed off, locking his eyes with L's. "You are perfect."

L blushed darker and was about to disagree with the statement, when Light's mouth met his neck, sucking and nipping at the skin. L arched his back as Light's tongue found a particularly sensitive area, an action that did not go unnoticed by Light. All of his attention was pointed at that spot, working his mouth so that he would have a perfect red mark there; to mark L.

After the mark had met Light's standards he began to trail kisses down L's chest, stopping to first lick the right nipple and then give it one suck. L moaned, gripping Light tighter and forcing Light to feel his arousal. Light smirked, then took the other nipple in his mouth, licking and attacking the nub. He could feel his own arousal growing from watching L, face tinted with pink, as the raven fought to breathe.

Light moved to L's pants, the bulge plainly visible, to unzip them. L followed Light and started unbuttoning the white button up shirt Light was wearing, fumbling every so often with unsteady hands. The pants were easily undone, and Light slid the jeans and boxers off at once in the time it took L to get halfway done with Light's shirt. Light held in a chuckle and decided to help L, taking his own slacks and boxers off by the time it took L to finally finish with his shirt and toss it, angrily, on the ground.

"Why must you wear so many buttons?" L asked, eyes rolling over Light's chest. Light's skin was perfectly tanned, not a single bone nor piece of fat showing, and every single muscle was perfect to the point of being just visible. "They hide this perfect body from me." L's eyes traveled lower, looking at Light's fully erect member.

"Not from you." Light smirked, kissing L's forehead. "It hides my body from anyone that is not you."

L smiled as Light kissed him, Light slowly shifting so that he was in between L's legs. He broke the kiss, a trail of saliva still keeping them together, as he gave L three fingers.

"I don't want to hurt you, so you need to suck," Light explained. L nodded his head in understanding and took the digits in his mouth, all the way in. Light moaned, the feeling of L's tongue sliding around his fingers, his mouth moving up and down the digits, and most importantly, the sight of L underneath him, naked, and doing all of this was almost too much to bear. He moaned, and slipped his fingers out of L's mouth when he found them covered well enough. Light spread L's legs apart and readied his fingers.

"It's going to be uncomfortable, and it will hurt a little, but after that it will feel good. You have to stay relaxed though," Light explained.

L was scared, and rightfully so, but he really wanted this. So he did the only thing he could think of, he closed his eyes and nodded his head, words unable to come out of his mouth. Light started trailing kisses along L's jaw line as he inserted the first finger.

It was uncomfortable, L could say nothing about that, but there was no pain yet as Light simply brought his finger in and out, moving the angle around for reasons L could not understand. Then the second finger was inserted and L squirmed, pain pinching but not quite biting as he was being scissored, and he stayed relaxed. Finally the third finger entered and L had to hold back a noise of displeasure, not wanting to upset Light. He gripped at the bed sheets when suddenly Light's fingers hit a spot that made his vision go white and pure pleasure to spread throughout his body.

"Ngh! Light…!" L moaned, grasping onto Light, who smiled down at him.

"Found it." He smirked, slipping his fingers out and earning a whimper from L. He chuckled as he placed L's legs onto his shoulders and positioned himself and L correctly. "Do you trust me?"

Trust was a big word. Neither L nor Light ever really trusted one person in their entire existence. They were both separated from the world for different reasons, many people wanting to get close to them and hurt them for different reasons. All they had was the other, the other that knew exactly what it was like to not be able to just live a normal life, but have to worry about which people were around to destroy them. They needed reassurance more than anything to know that they were not alone.

"With my life." L nodded, and Light pushed himself inside L, feeling the incredible heat and the tightness consume him. He moaned and leaned down to kiss L who was gritting his teeth at the feeling of Light inside of him, but it was strange. It wasn't like when Beyond raped him, ripping him apart as he entered, Light felt like he belonged there and simply slid into place.

"God, L! You're so tight…! Nh." Light moaned, waiting for L to tell him to move but steadily losing his composure as he waited. L felt amazing, better than anything he'd ever felt before. Compared to L, Misa was just... loose.

"Move, Light," L ordered, finally feeling most of the pain gone. Light was happy to oblige. First he moved slowly, trying to find a pace and L's sweet spot, when L threw back his head and moaned, indicating that Light found it. Then Light moved faster, unable to control himself as he pounded into L, hitting the spot every time and forcing L to moan and shudder beneath him.

That's when Light understood. You can have sex with anyone and feel good, but you can only have sex with the one you love and feel perfect. He remembered that sex with Misa made him feel like he was on top of the world. Sex with L made him feel on top of the world, flying, and with a crown on to show him as King. He finally felt complete.

"I love you, Light!" L yelled, squeezing down around Light and coming on both of their chests. The sight of L with his face pink and hair tousled, the words that poured out of his mouth, and the feeling of him tightening around Light's member all sent him over the edge as well.

"I love you, L!" Light moaned back, coming inside of L. They panted for a moment, staying perfectly still in bliss, until Light pulled out of L and collapsed next to his lover. He took L in his arms and kissed the raven locks, and never had he felt so right.

--

Light and L walked to Mello and Near, who were eating, both almost falling asleep on the couch in the living room. Mello looked at their wrinkled clothes, disarranged hair, and pink faces, but said nothing.

"Mikami and Takada left without us. We tried to stop them," Near explained, standing up.

"Well, Mikami tried to steal Light. So we taught him a lesson. I'm not surprised they left us here," L answered, bringing his thumb to his lips.

"But Kiyomi-san said that A lives only a few miles from here. I'm sure we can walk. Let's get going now," Light ordered moving towards the door. Mello followed behind all of them as the cold pinched at their skin and made L grab his arms and shiver. Then it started to snow a little bit. Mello saw Light place an arm around L to keep him warm and he smiled.

"Hey, Near. I win," Mello stated, walking with his hands behind his back.

"Win what? You have been unusually quiet, Mello," L noticed, looking at the blond who just grinned back.

"Well, I was just wondering why you two smell like sex..." Mello trailed off, raising an eyebrow. L and Light blushed, as Near curled a lock of hair.

"Well, I'm wondering why you know what sex smells like," Light retaliated, grinning. Mello's already huge grin only widened.

"You have a lot to learn about me, Light," Mello stated, shoving his hands into his pockets. "A lot to learn..."


	14. Chapter 14: Beyond

A/N: The wheels on the bus go round and round... I'm normal, I swear. XD Anyways, hello all! I wanted to tell the reviewers of last chapter thank you. It was really nice and inspiring to know that I did well with that lemon, it being my first one ever written. XP So again, thank you! And I gots Jam from an awesome reviewer! :D Oh! And a quick note: To all of the people that have seen the movie don't expect certain things to happen or not happen. I stick to the plot as much as possible but some things just have to be different, like Mello on shots while Lisa had shocks, they are small things to keep the story rolling. Okay, now that that's done with, read, enjoy, and review please!

* * *

Chapter 14: Beyond

* * *

It was a good two hours after they'd left the house and they were still walking. A light blanket of white crystals covered the ground as the chilly morning air nipped at their skin, turning their flesh pink. Their breaths were turned into wheezes, visibly seen every time they emptied their lungs. They huddled close together to stay warm.

Bottom line, they were tired, cold, and wearing thin on patience.

"Mello, isn't that the street that A lives on?" L asked, pointing at the street sign that appeared before them. Mello took out the paper and unfolded it with numb hands, looking from the paper to the sign, a smile spreading across his face.

"It is! Come on, he lives in house one hundred and eighty!" Mello yelled, excited to get to warmth. He grabbed Near's hand and took off at a run, anxious to find the house. L and Light followed behind, anxious as well, and counting down the numbers of the houses, when Light saw L stagger and almost trip.

"You okay?" Light asked, lungs burning from the cold.

"My rear... is in slight pain..." L admitted, continuing to run.

"I'm sorry, we could walk if that's what you want," Light said, realizing what L was talking about right away.

"No, I'd much rather find warmth, my feet are freezing," L stated.

"Perhaps that is because you don't like to wear socks?" Light asked, slowing as he felt his lungs start to burn more.

"Socks are annoying no matter how much heat they help store. My tennis shoes work just as well as socks would," L explained.

"Found it! Guys, I found it! Over here!" Mello waved from a small house. It was light blue, two stories, and the windows were closed. If there was a heaven, then Light was sure that was what it looked like.

A house, warmth, and most important of all it's not white.

L and Light caught up to Mello as the blond knocked on the door, pounding his stinging fingers against the hard wood and not even wincing at the pain. There was a moment of silence, but to the four's relief the door soon opened and they were welcomed with A's face.

"Guys? What are you doing out there, alone, and in those clothes?! It's freezing! Get in here!" A yelled, opening the door and allowing them inside. Quickly, they moved inside, the warmth melting their skin and welcoming them in. L got rid of his shoes first thing, while Mello strutted right to the couch to sit down.

"You have any chocolate?" Mello asked, putting his feet on the table across from the couch.

"The real question is, what are you guys doing here? There's no way you were all let out at once," A stated, walking over to sit in a chair. Light also took off his shoes out of habit of his home manners.

"We ran away," Mello said simply.

"Ran away? To here?" A asked, confused.

"It's just a stop for a few days. Mello's ingenious planning has us going to Disney Land," Near replied, sitting next to Mello who glared at him.

"Stay here? Guys, that's not such a good idea... I mean, I have no heat, no power, the water doesn't work, I don't pay on time..." A was rambling, and not only that but he was rambling lies. Just by looking the four could tell that the power and heat worked.

"A, what's wrong?" L asked, sitting down with Light on the couch. This effectively stopped A's rambling, making him stare.

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong, at all," A answered, fidgeting slightly. Mello raised an eyebrow, walking to A.

"Yeah, there's nothing wrong alright. Just the same problem that has been causing A his same old issues. What did you think, A? That moving in a house bought by Beyond would do? What made you possibly think that things would go right?" Mello asked.

"Shut up," A ordered, standing up to leave the room. "I want you out of my house."

"What made you think," Mello ignored A's protest, grabbing the boy's arm to keep him from walking away. "That Beyond would be nice to you? Did you think he would just stop hurting you? Did you think that he would start loving you? Did you think that his feelings for L would go away if you were closer? You should know that a person's feelings don't just go away, A."

"You can't stay here!" A tried to take his arm back, but Mello held onto it tightly.

"Why? Because you're afraid Beyond is going to come and see you hiding people he doesn't approve of? Will he hurt you again A? Or will he be mad that you're keeping L from him? Will he kill you for that?" Mello asked, and then grabbed the sleeve of A's shirt and pulled it down to his elbow to reveal many cuts. "Or are you just going to keep cutting and pretend nothing ever happened?"

A finally got his arm away, holding it in his other hand and backing away from Mello, but not making a move to leave the room.

"What's the matter, A? Your medication isn't working? Or are you just not taking it?" Mello asked, grinning at A. Said boy stared at Mello for a moment before turning around.

"You can stay, but not for long. There's food if you get hungry, and please don't bother me in the morning, I like to take my time," A explained, but Light noticed something different. The boy did not sound like he used to; fun and full of life. He was more like dead. Then A walked away and up the stairs.

"That was uncalled for," Light stated, glaring at Mello.

"The kid is living in a world of lies. It was about time somebody woke him up," Mello explained.

"You have no right. How would you like it if someone dug into the deepest part of you and pulled out the ugly and laughed about it?" Light asked.

"I'd say Congratulations," Mello answered and left it at that, looking through the fridge. He found some chocolate syrup for ice cream, pasta, cake, milk, and jam. Looking at the jam, he shuddered, and grabbed the chocolate syrup, pasta, and cake. He put the pasta in the microwave for Light and Near, handed L the cake, and then went off down the hall with chocolate syrup in hand. Near watched him go, twirling a lock of hair through his fingers.

"How does he expect us to eat pasta at six in the morning? I'm going to sleep," Near stated, following Mello down the hall. How they knew where they were going, Light did not know. Then the brunet turned his attention to L who did not touch his cake, but instead was staring into the space in front of him.

"L? Hey, L. What's wrong?" Light asked, placing a hand on L's shoulder. This woke L out of his stupor, and the raven haired teenager blinked a few times and then looked to Light with fearful eyes.

"Beyond. He's going to come here some time. Isn't he?" L asked, hands shaking. Light hugged L and kissed his cheek.

"Don't you worry. I'll always protect you," Light stated as L cuddled into him.

"Thank you, Light," L yawned, eyes closing. "Thank you so much."

Then Light watched in amazement as the supposed insomniac fell asleep in his arms.

--

Light awoke later, not quite remembering when he had fallen asleep, but his body was aching from sleeping sitting up. He unlocked his arms from L to find, to his amusement, that L was still asleep. It seemed even insomniacs got tired after having sex. The clock read ten o'clock, and Light heard music playing from upstairs. He figured it must have been A and dismissed it since it was his house. He walked to the kitchen and found a note with money on top of it. It read:

Here's some money for food. The store is just a few blocks over. A

Light folded the money into his pocket and threw the letter away. He looked for a coat, finding one in the closet, and grabbing it for his quick trip to the store. After slipping his shoes on, he walked out of the door, only to find Beyond Birthday on his way to the house.

They paused, both of them trying to understand what was happening.

"Beyond..." Light growled. Beyond still stared, blinking at Light, and then grinning.

"So, Light Yagami. Were you finally freed of that asylum? I must say I was having a hard time coming up with a disorder for you from what A has told me," Beyond explained, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"No. I ran away, and L came with me," Light ignored Beyond's last comment, deciding to be risky and just take Beyond head on.

"L's here?" Beyond asked.

"Yeah, he's sleeping," Light smirked.

"Sleeping? But he's an insomniac..."

"Well, he got tired out last night..." Light trailed off, smirk never faltering. "We did have a good time in the bedroom."

There was a silence as Beyond glared at Light. Then the older boy ran at Light, trying to attack the brunet. Light moved out of the way of Beyond's punch and then quickly ducked when he saw Beyond's foot being aimed at his head. Light took the moment Beyond was using to bring his foot down to punch the other in the face, sending Beyond to the ground. Light quickly got on top of Beyond, holding the collar of his shirt and glaring at him.

"You listen to me, Beyond Birthday," Light ordered, growling the words out. "You are despicable. You chase and hunt after someone who does not like you and then, when they have the decency to reject you, you rape them! Then you take one of his best friends, use that friend's love, and have that person move in with you! You dress yourself as the one you love because you know you can never have him! You eat a certain way just to bring that person to discomfort! I may not be crazy, but you most certainly are! And if you ever, ever decide to try and get close to L or A or anyone else, then I will kill you. With my own hands."

Beyond stared in disbelief at Light growling angrily above him. The brunet let go and stood up, breathing heavily to keep himself calm. Beyond slowly rose to his feet, glaring at Light.

"Sorry Yagami, but…" Beyond started, stepping towards Light with a smile. "I'm not going anywhere."

Light crossed his arms. "Then you and I are going to have some problems."


	15. Chapter 15: Fault

A/N: GAH! I haven't replied to any reviews! But there's a good reason! My internet wasn't working, and I just so happened to give this to my Beta before the internet problem so please forgive me, all of you. Also it's really hard for me to type right now due to me burning my finger. Owie. So, yes, Sorry. Please read, enjoy, and review! And this time I'll reply! XD

* * *

Chapter 15: Fault

* * *

L woke up to music playing, very loudly. It sounded nice, being the first time he'd ever heard the song, but the words were bothering him a bit. Not to mention that the song was on repeat; as soon as it finished, it just started back over again.

I'm so sick, infected with where I live. Let me live without this empty bliss, selfishness. I'm so sick. I'm so sick.

L couldn't help but think that there was a reason A kept playing the music that loud, those same words saying the same thing over and over again, but he ignored it. Realizing Light was not with him, L got up to search for him, shocked to see how late he'd actually slept.

"Hey, L," Mello greeted from the kitchen, sitting at the table and eating some cereal he'd found.

"Hello Mello, have you seen Light yet?" L asked, wiping his tired eyes.

"No, I haven't but I have been getting seriously annoyed with A." Mello's voice rose the longer he talked, so that he was shouting by the end. "Playing Flyleaf all day!"

"He told us not to bother him. We should be grateful that he's even letting us stay here," L explained.

"Please, the only reason he doesn't want us to bother him is because he's probably cutting himself," Mello stated, eating a mouthful of cereal.

"Please be nice, Mello. Please," L pleaded, walking towards the blond.

"Sorry, but nice isn't going to help us live out here... Wait." Mello held a hand up to L, signifying to him to be silent. They both listened, and heard what sounded like someone jumping outside. "You hear that?"

L nodded his head and Mello went to a drawer, taking out a knife. Trailing behind Mello to the door, L eyed the knife and then looked away, not wanting to know how the blond would use it in the worse case scenario. Mello looked through the eye hole and saw nothing for the longest time, when suddenly something was pushed against the hole, blocking his view, and making L jump from the sudden noise. Mello had had enough and opened the door wide in one big swing.

Light fell to the floor first, arms on Beyond's shoulders as Beyond's hands were around Light's neck, obviously from trying to choke the boy on the door outside. When Light fell to the floor, he took the moment to kick Beyond in the stomach, knocking the air out of him. Mello thought fast and put the knife around Beyond's throat, ultimately stopping any move Beyond might make.

"Let Light go," Mello ordered, voice sounding deadly. Beyond obliged and let go of Light who scrambled out from under Beyond and over to L who looked like he was going to faint at any moment. "What are you doing here, B?"

"..." Beyond didn't answer for a while, regaining lost breath through his nose. "This is my house."

"Really?" Mello asked, no care for what Beyond said clear in his voice. "Why are you letting A stay here?!"

"Why wouldn't I? A and I are friends, right?" The only answer Beyond received was Mello's foot in his face, sending him away and onto the ground. Beyond sat up and wiped his mouth on his jacket.

"You have some real issues, Beyond! You know that?!" Mello yelled, not moving towards the fallen man. Beyond looked from Mello to Light to L, and then smiled.

"Hello L." Beyond greeted. Light hugged L as Mello moved in front of him.

"Shut your mouth. Your attention is here with the guy that might kill you, not L," Mello instructed, waving the knife. Beyond kept his smile as he got to his feet.

"Oh, but you won't kill me Mello. Not when you just ran away from an insane asylum. How will that make you look? And not when A will miss me so much that he might throw you out. No, you won't kill me," Beyond explained, rolling his arms to work out the kinks. "So what will you do? Leave me so I can touch L whenever I please? Or call the police? Wait, you can't do that either since they'll realize you ran away from an insane asylum and put you back. Oh, what will you do?"

Mello glared, hating every word that spilled from Beyond's mouth. As much as he hated to admit it, Beyond was right, there was practically nothing they could do against him at that given moment.

"My question is, where is Near, Mello? Surely you wouldn't leave your little brother. Or have you finally had too much of him always beating you? Maybe you're here with just your boyfriend. Matt is what I believe he likes to be called." Beyond walked down the hall, talking to them as he did so. He ignored all the rooms downstairs, immediately going up the stairs. They followed him all the way up, L almost trembling in Light's hold.

"Do you know that A doesn't even like this song? It reminds him too much of how he's crazy, and so he hates listening to it," Beyond explained, opening the door to the bedroom. It was empty and the computer showed iTunes on repeat for I'm So Sick by Flyleaf.

"It could have been a lie. A lies about almost everything," Mello stated, wanting to growl at Beyond but holding back.

"No. I read it in his journal, and A doesn't lie when he writes things down," Beyond stated, closing the door and going down the hall to where the bathroom was. The door was cracked open slightly and light was falling out from it. When he reached it, he opened the door and everyone froze.

Near was on the ground in the bathroom, staring at the sight in front of him. A was dead. He had hung himself near the shower, after cutting his arms into the bloodied mess that they now were. L also fell to the ground, cupping his mouth and nose as the smell of blood started to make him sick. Light held onto L's shoulder, but felt himself losing his cool as well. Mello stood there, arms crossed. A was dead, actually dead.

Then Beyond laughed.

"I knew this would happen! I knew it wouldn't take long, but it's always more exciting when I actually see it! All he needed was a push. Who did it? Who pushed him over the edge?!" Beyond asked, sounding like a little kid on Christmas morning. Light went over to Beyond and punched him across the face.

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up! I'm tired of you and your sick and twisted mind! It's your fault A is here now, not one of ours, so just shut up!" Light ordered, breathing heavily. Beyond looked at him and then knocked him to the ground with more strength than he had used when they'd fought outside.

He slowly started walking to L.

"L. Oh, L? Is it my fault that A killed himself? Is it my fault that he was so in love with me? Is it my fault that you all came here and drove him to this?" Beyond asked, faux hurt and innocence in his voice. Mello stepped in front of L, Light still on the floor, and Near not moving any time soon. Beyond just pushed Mello to the ground as well, much too easily. "Is it, L? What did I do?"

L was trembling, hugging his knees and putting his head in between his legs. Beyond came over and lifted L's chin up to look at him, much more gently than L thought he would. Then Beyond bent down and kissed L, the younger teenager shaking as a tear slid down his cheek.

"Stop!" Light yelled, trying to get to his feet, but Beyond hit him down hard.

Beyond slowly let go of the kiss, looking down at L, when something caught his eye. A red mark was on L's neck, barely hidden by the white long sleeved shirt. Beyond glared.

"It's true," Beyond realized, talking aloud and looking at L. "It's true. You really did sleep with him? You really did it. After all these years of not going near anyone, not wanting to be touched by anyone, you willingly sleep with him?! You fought me to the death, crying and letting A get tortured so you wouldn't have to, and you just sleep with him?!"

Nobody expected what happened next.

L's foot connected with Beyond's face, making the older fall backwards across the floor and into the blood, hitting his head on the bath tub and falling unconscious. L stood straight up, still visibly shaking, and head bowed down as tears slid down the porcelain skin.

"It is. All of this... All of it is your fault," L stuttered. Light crawled over to L as said boy fell into his arms, crying. Mello got up and walked to them.

"C'mon. We have to leave now," Mello explained.

"No. Mello, it's done. We can't keep running. We have to go back!" Light yelled, tightly holding onto L. Mello just looked at the two of them and then to Near, who was also looking at L.

"Come on, Near." Mello ordered. Near looked at Mello and then looked away, holding his knees to his chest. Mello sighed.

"Fine." And then Mello walked away, leaving them alone there.


	16. Chapter 16: Wake Up

A/N: ... I love some of my most recent reviews. Really, they're so funny. XD AND STOP GUESSING WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN! I don't have the heart to lie to you guys! XP Anyways, I have an idea for that one-shot I owe all of you and I thought of another story for LightxL yumminess that is AU and based on another movie. (I should just quit television. -.-) So those will be updated after this story is complete. Moving on, I'm warning you now that this chapter moves quickly at moments and both L and Light are drama whores. But besides that I hope you read, enjoy, and review! :}

* * *

Chapter 16: Wake Up

* * *

Beyond was arrested. Finally they had enough proof and witnesses to put him in jail. The police were searching for Mello, the blond leaving long before the police could arrive. Light, L, and Near were taken back to Wammy's. Once they were inside they were greeted by Matt, who was allowed back to work. Near saw the redhead and ran to him, hugging him.

"Hey, Near," Matt greeted, patting the white hair.

"... M-Mihael..." Matt's eyes widened a bit at hearing Near say his brother's real name, but they softened again, understanding why Near said that name.

"I know, Nate. I know. Come on, let's go get you in bed," Matt instructed, picking the younger boy into his arms and carrying him to his room.

Light looked to L.

"It's over L. It's really over. Beyond is finally gone," Light stated aloud, almost as if he couldn't believe it either. L didn't do anything, the black haired boy just kept his head down. "L?"

"I heard you, Light," L hissed, turning his head away from Light. The chestnut haired boy stood there for a moment, trying to understand why L wasn't happy like he was.

"L, Beyond has been arrested. You're free to live your life now. You're free to be happy and be safe," Light explained, softly touching L's shoulder. L turned violently, facing Light and glaring.

"At what cost, Light?!" L yelled, anger again shocking Light. "At what cost?! A's death?! The death of an innocent and young boy?! I'm free to live because I allowed A to die?! Is that how it is?! Is it?!"

"L, it's not like that-"

"It's exactly like that! If it weren't for A's death, then Beyond would have done something! He would have used A against us! He would have killed you and Mello and..!" L trailed off, looking at the floor.

"L... Then isn't it more like A's death saved us?" Light asked, trying to get closer to L, but the raven just kept backing away.

"No. No life should ever have to be sacrificed. No innocence should ever be tainted! No one should ever be so sick that they think the only way out is through death!" L yelled. That last statement stung Light, remembering when he had tried to take his own life.

"Please L-"

"No. It's all my fault. It wasn't Beyond's, it wasn't Mello's, it wasn't A's, it wasn't Near's, it wasn't yours. It's my fault. All my fault." L's eyes widened with realization. Light almost flinched at the dead tone L's voice held, monotone the whole time he talked. "Please Light... Stay away from me. I'll just cause you harm..."

"Don't say that, L," Light ordered, stepping towards L.

"Stay away from me!" L yelled, and before Light knew it, L turned and ran into his room, locking the door behind him. Light chased after him, banging on the locked door.

"L! It's not true! Everything you said is not true! Please listen to me!" Light yelled, but L never opened the door. "Please!"

Light stayed outside L's door for the rest of the day. No one bothered him except when they had to check on L, and even then they would not allow Light in, on L's request.

"L..." Light would murmur, sitting outside the closed door. He would wait and hope for the door to open.

L, on the other side, lay on his bed. He was curled into himself, hugging his knees close to his chest and staring blankly at the wall. He gripped the bed sheets as he looked on forever.

"I'm sorry A. I'm sorry Akira Alles."

--

"Light. May I have a word?" Watari asked, seeing the boy falling asleep at L's door.

"Can't. L might open the door..." Light answered, eyes drooping.

"Trust me, Light. He won't. Anyway, this is very important," Watari explained, helping Light up. The old man led Light to his office, Light waking up by the time he sat down on Watari's couch, shivering as he remembered the last time he was there.

"Do we have to talk here?" Light asked, crossing his legs as he leaned back.

"I'm afraid so. I would like to bring up a very important topic, one that's been keeping you here so far," Watari explained, pulling out a notebook. Light's eyes widened as he saw the book.

"That's my notebook," Light stated, unnecessarily stating the obvious.

"I would like to tell you that I'm surprised. You're the only one that actually took the time to write in this. When you ran off with Mello, I decided to read it, see what was really going on in your mind, for you would never tell me during our therapy sessions." Watari opened the notebook, flipping through the pages.

"Yeah? And what's wrong with me now? What do you want to say about me? Why don't you want me near L?"

"Don't get me wrong, Light. I'm not here to tell you what you did wrong," Watari stated, looking at the confused teenager. Light shifted on the couch.

"You're not?"

"No. Actually, I'm here to tell you that you are going home," Watari explained as Light grew silent, staring at the elder man in shock.

"But, I didn't get better. Nothing changed..." Light trailed off, completely confused.

"Let me ask you something, Light. In the past few days have you spaced out? Have you forgotten anything? Have you had inner turmoil?" Watari asked.

"When you told me to stay away from L..."

"And only then, am I correct? Am I right to say that you two had sexual intercourse and after that there was no second guessing yourself? There was nothing sad about what you were doing? You were truly happy?" Watari asked, shocking Light even more.

"How do you..?" Light trailed off, but then stood up abruptly, placing his hands on Watari's desk. "But what about when I was sick?! What was wrong with me?!"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? How can it be nothing?!" Light asked.

"It's simple, really. You thought you were talking to yourself, but it was more like second guessing yourself, your mind not sure what was going on. You forgot things because the human mind doesn't remember anything it doesn't want to. You had sex because it is a normal thing teenagers like to do, especially with hormones. I'm not surprised that you liked sex so much," Watari explained.

"But... It doesn't make sense," Light trailed off.

"It makes perfect sense, Light." Watari stood. He walked around to Light and placed a hand on Light's shoulder. "And... I... I was wrong. I'm sorry, I was wrong."

"Wrong about what?" Light asked, turning his head to Watari.

"About you and L. You're helping him so much... Thank you for helping him in a way that I could not."

"Don't thank me; he just locked me out of his life."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that, Light," Watari stated, and then hugged Light. "Really, thank you."

"... You're welcome."

And Light hugged back.

--

Matt walked into L's room, L never moving from his spot on his bed. The red head sighed as he placed the tray of food he brought L onto the desk beside the bed.

"You know, Light is really worried," Matt stated.

"Please do not let him in," L asked in that same monotone he had been using all day.

"Everyone is worried. Maybe it's about time you got up?" Matt asked.

"No, I need to rest... Just... Just a little bit longer," L explained. Matt rolled his eyes before placing goggles over them and then picking up L, carrying him. "What are you doing..? Where are you taking me..?"

Matt ignored the words from L as he walked down the hall and to the empty bathroom. A tub was filled with water, to his luck, and he threw L in it. Water splashed around the rim as L yelled and kicked to get up and out of the water. Matt pushed him back in.

"What the hell?" L asked, wiping the locks of hair out of his face so they wouldn't stick and ruin his vision.

"Wake up," Matt ordered, pulling the goggles back down as he stood in front of L.

"What?" L asked, not understanding.

"I said wake the fuck up, L!" Matt yelled, locking his green eyes with L's black ones. "You've been in this asylum all these years, acting like the biggest fucking baby I've ever seen! You hide away all day because you're afraid that someone may do something to you and you might get hurt! Well, it's about time you fucking woke up!"

"Woke up?! Did you forget that Beyond-"

"Beyond did what, L? Beyond raped you?! He took your innocence and followed you? He tortured A? I know what Beyond did to you! I'm the one that had to fucking take care of you for what Beyond did to you!" Matt yelled. "It was over ten years ago, L! Now Beyond's arrested and you don't even have the decency to be happy?!"

"Happy? About what?! Happy that Beyond's been arrested because A took his own life?!"

"No! Be happy that you have the one you love next to you every day! That you don't have to hide anymore! That someone who wanted you dead killed himself!" Matt yelled, slamming his hands on the tub and glaring into L's eyes.

"What?! A... A did not want to kill me..!" L denied, sitting up more in the tub.

"Have you ever read A's journal?! He wrote that as soon as you both were out of Wammy's, he would kill you! Kill you, L! I stole his journal and burned it so nobody would hurt A because I know you cared about him! I know..!"

"He wanted to kill me..?" L trailed off, looking at Matt who kneeled down next to L. The raven looked into the green eyes and then relaxed, seeing that Matt was really only looking out for him and trying to help him, just like Matt always did. L couldn't help but feel guilt at that thought. "Why are you doing this, Matt? Why do you help Light, Near, Mello, and I?"

"Because I..! I... I don't want you to end up like me. You all have so much potential, you all have the will to learn and... You're all so fucking smart, like... Like how I used to be, and I don't want you to waste it. I don't want you to just throw away your talent, and I don't want you living a life that is not your dream life. I want you to fulfill your dream to the fullest, and just live," Matt explained, running a hand through his hair. L finally understood and took Matt's face into his hands, making sure that their eyes locked.

"Thank you, Matt," L smiled, closing his eyes in happiness. "For waking me up."


	17. Chapter 17: Buttons

A/N: Those were some of the funniest reviews I EVER got. XD Thanks guys! Now I'm going to get some mad ones. I can already tell you all are going to yell at me. Why? Well, you need to read to find out, but remember. I'm not that horrible of a person. Really! ... I feel like I'm forgetting something. Am I? Oh well, that's what a review button/PM is for. :P Okay! So I hope you read, enjoy, and review!

* * *

Chapter 17: Buttons

* * *

L was going home. It was strange to hear himself say that, to know that all of those years spent in Wammy's were about to be over and he could go and live a real life. Watari sprung the news on him after a therapy session, where L just kept talking and explaining all of his feelings. The old man had looked so happy to hear L talking like he did, had looked so surprised to hear L finally open up, and had looked slightly sad that he didn't have to take care of L anymore.

Light sat on the couch, writing in his notebook. He was passing time, for tomorrow he was going home and bringing L with him.

So he decided to write whatever it was that he was thinking to help pass the time and take things off his mind.

When you don't want to feel, death can seem like a dream. But... Seeing death... Really seeing it makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous.

Maybe there's a moment growing up. When something peels back. Maybe.

We look for secrets because we can't believe our minds.

Life was easier without L, Mello, Near, and Matt but if I wanted life to be easier, then I wouldn't be here now.

All I know is that I am who I was again. Whatever I was, I know, that there's only one way back to the world. And that is to become the real me, whoever I am no-

"Let go of me!" A voice yelled from down the hall, echoing off the walls and gaining everyone's attention. Light stopped writing to look down and see a police officer, Watari, and Roger trying to help Mello inside.

"Mello?" Light asked, shocked to see Mello back. The policeman grabbed Mello's arm roughly and pulled the blond along side of him and Mello tried to fight back, yanking his handcuffed arms and growling.

"Don't touch me, you fucking asshole!" Mello yelled, managing to pull away from the policeman. The policeman went to grab at Mello again, but Watari and Roger persuaded him into freeing Mello and leaving the rest to them. Once Mello was free and the policeman was gone, they continued their journey down the hall. Mello's eyes were dead as he looked around, searching for something. His eyes landed on Light's, seeming to find what they were looking for, and then went back to following Watari and Roger. The older two locked Mello in the same room that Near had been locked in after having his tantrum that one time.

L walked over to Light with Near.

"Was that..?" Near trailed off, hugging his toy robot. Light put his pen down.

"Yeah. That was Mello," Light replied, knowing what the question was.

"Do you think Matt knows he's back?" L asked, placing a finger onto his lips.

"Most likely not or he'd already be down here," Light explained, standing up and walking over so he could see down to where Mello was imprisoned better. "Do... Do you think we can see him?"

"Well, Watari and Roger left so I say we do it now while we can," L answered, walking to the door, Light and Near following him. When they got to the door, the three of them could clearly see Mello sitting in the corner, banging his hand against the wall.

L knocked.

"Go away!" Mello yelled, continuing to punch the wall.

"Mello," Light called, his voice ceasing the punches against the wall. Mello slowly turned and went to the door, looking out at Light.

"Hey. It's been a while..." Light trailed off, an awkward silence taking over all of them. His hand twitched as he took himself to be the speaker of the group. "...You okay?"

"Fabulous," Mello answered. His voice was sore and his eyes were drooping closed.

"Light! L! Near!" Roger yelled, seeing the three at the door. Light sighed, looking at Roger annoyed.

"Just give me a minute, okay?!" Light asked, aggravated. Roger didn't argue.

"Light... L... They still fucking with you?" Mello asked, looking at L through the small window.

"Uh... They-uh... Actually, they're letting both of us out tomorrow," Light stated. Mello's eyes darted to Light, but then seemed to freeze. Silence took over as they waited for Mello's response.

"You should go. Roger will get mad," Mello answered, voice not leaving any hint as to how the blond felt. They just nodded and left Mello, walking over to Roger.

"Don't tell Matt," Roger ordered.

"He doesn't know?" L asked.

"No, Matt's in charge of a different wing for the time being and I plan on keeping this a secret for a little while. So please, please don't tell him," Roger was actually pleading, and it amused the three teens.

"Alright, we won't tell him, but you better when you're ready. And that doesn't mean you can wait forever," L stated, putting his hands in his jeans pocket. Roger looked relieved.

"I will. I promise."

--

It was the middle of the night and Light woke up for the third time, finding it hard to sleep when he knew that in the morning he would be bringing L home to meet his family. A thought about L rose to his mind and he decided to write it in his journal before he forgot it.

He sat up to get the journal he always placed on his desk to find out that it wasn't there, and suddenly his door closed. He didn't even realize it was open.

Light got out of bed slowly and opened the door, poking his head out to see a body going around a corner. He couldn't tell who it was, but he knew that it wasn't somebody who worked there. So, he followed slowly behind the body. The person went into the room with the toys and down under the secret door.

"Near? Matt? ...L?" Light asked to himself as he waited so that the person would not know he was following them and then went into the secret door himself. Lights were on in every corridor, making Light wonder where the mystery person went, when he heard a voice.

"Near threw a temper tantrum last night about how he cares about other people, but I think it was for attention. Near just seems to fit into this asylum, and I think he likes it here. Maybe he does this stuff so he can stay here forever."

Light knew that voice. It was Mello. And he knew those words. It was his journal.

Mello's voice sounded distant, though. Like he'd gone very far away, and down a corridor Light had never gone down yet. He ran down that one, hoping to stop the blond in time.

"Sometimes it's so damn funny that people only think of me as the pretty boy. It's as if they only look at my face and not what's behind it. They don't see that I have a mind – shut up, I'm reading. Shut up!"

"Mello!" Light yelled as he heard Mello's voice much closer, only to get lost at a part where two corridors intersected and Mello's voice echoed off of them evenly.

"My father has gotten me an apartment that I hope L will stay in with me. He also got me a job in a small computer store. I hope my father likes L, and I hope he sees that I really have recovered. Hahaha!"

"Don't do this!" Light screamed, his own voice echoing with Mello's, looking frantically down each corridor in hopes of finding where Mello was.

"It seems I used to have this evil inside of me. Tearing and ripping pain all throughout my mind. I couldn't stand it anymore. So I just wished that I could stop feeling."

Mello appeared at the end of a corridor, and then soon disappeared again. Light took the chance to run after him.

"I try to keep looking for some sort of secret inside of me. Something that will just let me understand what's going on because sometimes I can't believe what I'm thinking."

"Mello! Mello!" Light yelled, finally catching up to find not only Mello but Near and L. L had his hands tied behind his back, though, seeming to have rebelled against Mello.

"Hello, Light," Near greeted, holding his robot.

"We figured since it was your last night here we would have story time. Learn more about you, you know? I think Near is just thrilled to hear you think he wants to stay crazy," Mello explained, grinning at Light. The chestnut haired boy looked to Near who only glared.

"It's not true," Near stated, angrily. "I'm just like everyone else. I just... Want to be free. You're wrong. You're wrong!"

"Please Mello..." Light pleaded, still panting from running.

"We also read about how you tried to kill yourself. That was interesting. Too much pressure for even the great Yagami Light to handle," Mello mused, turning the pages and scanning the words until something of interest caught his eye. "Oh. Sometimes I just don't know what to do about L. I don't think he really is scared of everyone, but it's more like he's seeking attention. I don't get what he wants, it seems he just keeps playing the role of the victim-"

"Shut up!" Light yelled, walking towards Mello in anger. He looked at L and saw that he was upset, so he turned to walk towards L instead. Near stepped in front of him.

"Why, Light? You wrote it down, I'm just reading it." Mello grinned, waving the book.

"What are you doing, Mello?" Light asked, turning to look at Mello. The blond walked to Light and punched him, sending Light to the ground next to L.

"I'm playing the role of the villain, baby. Just like you want. I try to give you everything you want."

"No you don't," Light stated. Mello glared and squatted so he was eye level with Light.

"You wanted your file, I got you your file! You wanted out, I got you out! You needed a place to stay, I got you one! I'm fucking consistent, I told you the truth and I didn't write it down in a fucking notebook! I told you to your face!" Mello yelled, breathing in deep breaths. "And I told A to his face. What everyone knew and wouldn't say and he killed himself. And I play the fucking villain! Just like you wanted."

Light took the moment to stare at Mello. The blond seemed to have changed, he was no longer full of life and mysterious looking like he had been when Light had first seen him. All Light saw at that moment was someone who looked like they'd completely lost their mind.

"...Why would I want that..?" Light asked, fear in his voice.

Mello smiled.

"Because it makes you the good guy. And you both come back here all sweet and innocent and everyone sits, wringing their hands and congratulating you. And all of your bravery. And meanwhile I'm going through guys in the bus station for the money that was in A's house!" Mello yelled.

Light hurriedly untied L and got the raven to his feet, after himself.

"Stop it Mello!" L ordered.

"Shut up L!" Near yelled.

Light grabbed L's hand and ran. He didn't know where he was running, all he knew was he had to get away.

Mello followed, walking behind them.

"Where you going? Hey! I'm talking to you, where are you going?! Where you going?" Mello yelled as Light opened a door and pulled L inside, trying to get away, but Mello's voice seemed to grow louder and louder. "I'm talking to you!"

Light could see Mello behind them.

"Light. L. What is it, you don't like me anymore?"

"No! No we don't!" Light yelled.

"Stop this, Mello!" L called.

"Cause you're free? You think you're free? I'm free! You don't know what freedom is! I'm free!" Mello yelled as Light rounded a corner and saw a door. He pushed L inside and then started to pull the door close. It was very heavy, and it was a sliding door, so Light had to use all the muscle he could while he feared Mello's voice getting closer and closer.

"I've been free! And you?! You're going to go choke on your average, mediocre life!" Mello rounded the corner just as Light shut the door, but Light wasn't fast enough to move his hand so the door slammed his hand into the wall and he screamed.

Mello pushed the door off Light's hand, leaning in the doorway and holding a needle in one hand. He looked at Light's bleeding hand and grinned.

"You know, there are way too many buttons in the world. There's way too many just... There's way too many just begging to be pressed." Mello walked Light into a corner when L stood in front of Light. Mello didn't move. "They're just begging to be pressed! You know, just begging!"

"No..." Light whispered, fearing for L's safety.

"And then I wonder. You know it really makes me fucking wonder! Why doesn't anybody ever press mine?!" Mello asked, frustration turning his face red as his eyes got puffy. "Why are mine so neglected?! Why doesn't anyone reach out and tear out the truth in me – that I'm a fucking whore, and that Nate wishes I was fucking dead, and Mail's just taking pity on me?!"

"Mello!" Matt's voice was heard, yelling from far away. It was ignored.

"Why?! Why doesn't anyone rip away my secrets and tell me to just go die?! Why am I always the one who does it for everyone else and nobody – nobody – even thinks twice about doing it for me?! Why doesn't anyone just tell me to kill myself?! That I should die?! Why–"

"Because you're already dead, Mihael!" Light yelled at the top of his lungs, freezing L and both Near and Matt who appeared at the door. Light took in shuddering breaths as he stared at Mello. "Nobody cares if you die, Mihael, because you're dead already. Your heart is cold! That's why you keep coming back here. You're not free. You need this place, you need it to feel alive. It's pathetic..!"

Near threw his toy robot to the ground and yelled in anger, shocking everyone.

Mello stared at Light's determined face, and the blond could see all the truth held in those brown eyes. Everything Light said was true and that was enough to make Mello cry, falling to his knees.

The blond was sobbing incoherent words and Matt ran to him, holding him in his arms as Mello grabbed his head and started screaming. Near fell to the ground and hugged his knees, getting more and more frightened by the second. L turned around and hugged Light.

"I wasted my life... Maybe... Maybe everyone out there is a liar," Light started, holding onto L tightly. "And maybe the whole world is stupid and ignorant, but... But I rather be in it. I rather be fucking in it, then down here with you."

Mello looked at Light and then at the needle in his hand. The blond took the needle and pointed it at his arm.

"Mello! Please, Mello, please. Don't do it," Matt pleaded, holding tighter onto the blond and kissing him. Mello looked at Matt and started to cry more, letting the needle fall to the ground. Matt's own tears started as Mello leaned into him and cried.


	18. Chapter 18: Good Luck

A/N: Well, guys, I got my first "flame" and it made yummy smores! :D But it brought up a point that I think should be answered. This person told me that Mello is OOC. I'm sorry if I sound rude when I say this but, Mello is in a insane asylum with Impulse Control Disorder. Of course he's OOC! He's crazy! If he weren't OOC then we wouldn't have a story, now would we? Also, you said I dissapointed you. I don't really care if I dissapointed you. I write for myself and then post it so other people **who enjoy it** can read it and tell me if there's things I need to fix, not whine about how they're dissapointed. I know I sound like a bitch but quite frankly, I don't care. Now, for all you amazing reviewers who have lots of love, there's an AN at the bottom of this story for you to read. And for your information, I don't reply to "flames".

* * *

Chapter 18: Good Luck

* * *

It was morning and Light was in the bathroom, waiting at the sink. His hand was bandaged over as he looked at himself in the mirror. Something was different about himself; just by looking he could tell. But the problem was, he didn't know what it was.

He sighed, shoving the thought to the back of his mind. There was no need to think about something like that at this time.

The bathroom door opened and Light jumped a bit, but soon relaxed when he saw it was Matt.

"Hey, I got what you wanted," Matt said, reaching into his pockets and pulling out a small container of black nail polish. "I really hope this works. And not just for his sake, but yours as well."

"Thank you, Matt. For everything. I don't think I would have survived without you," Light explained as he took the nail polish. Matt shrugged, grinning.

"It's my job," He stated.

Silence.

"You lied."

"What?" Matt asked, shocked.

"You lied to me about L's past. You know, when we first met? You said that Watari adopted him when L was three, and then L gained his Avoidant Personality Disorder when he was five," Light explained.

"It wasn't my story to tell, and you know that," Matt answered.

"Yeah, I do. The important thing is that I think that's the only time you ever lied to me," Light stated.

"Well, don't friends normally tell each other the truth?" Matt asked.

"But you forget; our group of friends is far from normal." Light smiled, laughing with Matt. Their laughs faded away into silence and Matt sighed.

"I guess this is goodbye for us, huh?"

"You're gonna stay behind with Mello?" Light asked.

"He needs me now more than ever. You should see how Watari and Roger have him right now! It's..." Matt took a breath to keep calm, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "It's heartbreaking to see him like this. That's why my goal will be to help him completely. Even if I have to be here twenty four-seven."

_That's Matt for you, always helping._

"You helped me, didn't you? It won't take long to help Mello, especially since he's head over heels in love with you." Light smiled.

"Please, you were easy to help. L was the hard one, took me most of my life to make him finally open his eyes," Matt answered, chuckling. Light chuckled too, but they both ended with a silence louder than anything.

"Well," Matt started, breaking the silence and holding out his hand. "Goodbye, Light. Good luck out there."

"Yeah," Light replied, shaking his hand. "See you later, Matt. And good luck in here."

--

Light stood outside the door, fidgeting slightly. He looked to his left where Matt stood, just looking at him and smiling sadly. Then he looked to his right where Roger stood, nodding his head to make Light move forward. Light knocked on the door out of politeness and then slowly entered.

Inside he saw Mello strapped to the bed. Leather straps kept his wrists and ankles bound to the bed, and longer straps were around his chest, waist, and legs.

He stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say or do at the sight before him. No one deserved that, not even Mello.

"Hey..." Light finally found his voice, cracking somewhat when being used. "I have a surprise for you..."

He sat down in a chair next to the bed and took out the black nail polish. Then he started to paint Mello's nails.

"Sayu used to have me do this all the time, so I'm pretty good at it..." Light explained, slightly smiling as he made perfect strokes on Mello's damaged nails.

Mello looked out the window, never moving his sight from it as Light finished his right hand and then moved to his left. Light noticed, though, that Mello's eyes seemed different from how they had looked the night before.

"You look different," Mello finally stated, voice sounding worse than Light's. Light glanced up, but continued to paint Mello's nails.

"Really? I thought so too, but I don't really know what it is," Light answered.

"You look... Alive. You look alive. Before you always looked dim and gloomy," Mello explained, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Is that so? I have to say that you're different too," Light stated, causing Mello's eyes to snap open. "It's your eyes. They've changed."

There was a silence and Light stopped his painting to look at Mello, to see if the blond was okay. Tears were running down Mello's cheeks as he sniffed, unable to do anything with the way he was strapped to the bed.

"I'm not..." Mello started, sniffling so he could speak better. "I'm not dead, you know? I'm not dead. I don't really want to stay in this place, I just don't know how to get out. Don't think of me like that, please, because you're down to Earth. You know what the truth is and what is really going on, so if you believe something, then it's true. But I'm not dead inside... My heart... It's not cold..."

Light smiled.

"I know." Light finished Mello's nails and placed the nail polish on the table next to the bed. "Your eyes look more alive than ever right now."

_Because you were always alive, Mello. And it's thanks to you that I'm leaving._

Mello smiled back as the tears stopped flowing and Light stood up and started to leave.

"Thank you, Light. I think... I think I understand now," Mello called after him, making Light pause half way out the door.

"No. Thank you, Mello. If it weren't for you I would probably still be stuck in here," Light answered.

"Bye."

"See you later."

The door shut and Mello lay in the quietness for a while, trying to understand and plan exactly what he needed to do to get better. The door opened again, and this time Matt entered. Mello looked confused as the red head walked over and lay down on the bed with Mello, wrapping his arms around the blond and resting his head on Mello's chest.

"I love you, Mihael. I'll love you forever with all my heart and soul, and I know you're not crazy. You will get through this. I believe in you," Matt whispered, soothing Mello and making the blond feel less scared. All Mello felt now was comfort and love.

"Thank you, Mail. Thank you so much. For always being there for me, for always looking out for me, for always loving me. If it weren't for you, then I don't think I would have survived this long. I think I would have-"

"Shh..." Matt cut Mello off, turning his head so they could lock eyes. "There's no need. I'm here now and I will always be here."

Their lips met slowly. Mello ate at the sweetness and warmth that was given from that one soft kiss, the best kiss he'd ever had.

"I love you too, Mail."

--

L was waiting for Light in the hall, seeming to have already said goodbye to everyone that he wanted to. Light took L's hand once close enough and kissed the raven haired teen.

"You look different..." L observed, eyeing Light as he placed a finger on his lips. "It's as if you're glowing."

"I'll just take that as a compliment and say thank you, but if anyone looks different, it's you. Have you seen yourself? You look so bright," Light replied, making L blush.

"I'll just take that as a compliment," L joked, making Light chuckle.

_I'll compliment you forever, L._

They walked outside, hand in hand, to the stairs where Watari stood, waiting with a taxi parked. When they reached him he took both of them into individual hugs.

"Good luck," Watari whispered to them both before releasing them. Once Light was released he saw Near from the top of the stairs, still holding onto his toy robot. Light stared for a moment before walking up the stairs until he was eye level with the younger boy.

"Near, you know the things I write in my journal aren't true. Half the time I don't even know what I'm thinking," Light explained.

"There's no need to apologize, Light. It was I who always caused you trouble and you helped me a lot. For that... I'm grateful," Near answered, tugging at a lock of hair nervously.

"Thank you, Near. You helped me out here. Really, you did. Without yo-"

Light was cut off by Near pushing himself forward and hugging Light. Light was shocked at first, frozen in place, and then slowly he got himself to hug Near back.

"Thank you, Light," Near whispered. "And come back to visit, okay? Mello will need you."

_That's Near, using Mello as an excuse for himself._

"Yeah, I promise to." Near let go of Light and smiled, showing his teeth for once. Then the younger boy looked over to L and waved, closing his eyes and smiling.

"Good luck, L!" Near waved and L smiled.

"See you soon, Near!" L waved back as Light walked down the stairs. They got into the taxi that awaited them and watched as Wammy's disappeared behind them.

"Where to?" The taxi driver asked, she looked into the rear view mirror to see L and Light. "Hey, I remember you. I drove you here the first time!"

Light looked at the lady driving and finally remembered her, getting shocked. Her hair had gone back to its original color of light brown and she wore much less makeup, not to mention the taxi now smelt of fruit.

"I took your advice, kid. I'm getting married and everything! Who's this you got with you?" She asked, looking at L.

"He's my boyfriend." Light smiled as L blushed. She whistled.

"Boyfriend, huh?" She asked, smiling as she drove. "So, kid. Did you get better? Is it the end? Is it really all over?"

Light looked from her to L and smiled again.

"Yeah. I think it really is over."

_... It's really the end...

* * *

_

A/N: And I don't want it to be the end but it must. *Sighs* I'm really happy to end the story like this, it's the happiest ending I ever gave to any of my stories... I'm an angsty person... Anyways, I'm just going to thank all the great reviewers out there that made this possible. *Holds award* Just kidding. But really, thank you all for reviewing, alerting, and favoriting. It gave me the motivation to update faster and write better. If your wondering about the one-shot, it's going to be a songfic of LightxL. In your review send in what song you want me to use and I'll use the one that's easiest to do! :D Also, a big hand to my beta is needed for getting this far with my typing. Shame on me and lots of love for NightRoseK!

Again, thanks for reading! And please, review! ;}


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